


Identity

by Jgem87



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-21 04:24:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 33,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/593423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jgem87/pseuds/Jgem87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Identity: the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another." What defines your identity? Modern Day AU, Everlark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blue Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I know I should be working on my other two fics and not starting a brand new one, but this plot just will NOT go away, so I must write it. I will tell you all right now that I know next to nothing about the medical field and also some of the other things that will come up in this fic. I will research some, but some of it will just be glazed over, as it isn't the main storyline. Please bear with me on this! Thanks for reading!

Katniss' POV:

"Katniss! You're in trauma ER today!"

I groan inwardly at the head nurse Effie's statement to me. I hate working in trauma ER. Even though Panem Memorial Hospital is one of the best in the area, we still lose people all the time, mostly in the trauma ER.

"Why? I almost never do trauma anymore."

Effie shakes her head at me, her light pink curls bobbing against her neck. "Clove called off sick, so I need you to step in."

"That little bitch" I mummer under my breath, she always calls off whenever she hooks up with a new guy, which is pretty often.

Effie arches her perfectly shaped brow at me. "What was that?"

"Nothing."

I used to do trauma all of the time, but lately I've been working in some of the other wards more often. I like dealing with patients who aren't brought in half-dead on an ambulance. Dealing with that on a daily basis began to get to me, thus the reason I asked to transfer to another ward.

Today, I'm not so lucky it seems. I tighten my braid and let it fall down my back as I head to the trauma section.

I nod and smile at the various doctors, nurses, and orderlies that I pass in the hallways, my last work review claimed that I needed to and I quote: 'Wipe the perpetual scowl off of my face'. So I tried to at least acknowledge some of the other workers in the building when they walked past me.

I say a silent prayer that today will be a slow one, after that lady with half of her arm missing last month; I was never quite the same.

When I arrive at the trauma unit, I see that my friend Johanna is working tonight. Jo is an odd one, with her spiky brown hair and 'no care' attitude, but she's a good friend all the same.

"Hey Jo, guess I'm with you tonight."

A smile brightens her face. "No Clove?"

I shake my head. "Called off again."

Johanna pumps her fist in the air in celebration. "Yes! But really, they ought to fire that girl…"

I completely agree with that. Clove is a bitchy little thing, no one likes when she is around, and no one likes covering for her when she isn't. "Yeah, but that will never happen. Her daddy donated like a zillion dollars to the hospital."

"Yeah, forgot about that. Did she nab herself another one night stand?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Who knows?"

Jo looks at me and from the glint in her eyes; I can tell that I won't like what she has to say next. "Speaking of which, when's the last time you got laid?"

I feel my face flush at her question, it has been a while. "Umm…I, umm…"

"That long, huh?"

Sighing, I bury my face in my hands. "It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter? Come on now, there are plenty of sexy ass doctors and nurses to be found here. Like him for example…"

I raise my head and see that Jo is pointing to a tall, handsome doctor that is walking our way. "No, he is like forty."

Jo laughs lightly. "So? Who cares? That man is fine."

As he walks by, Johanna slaps his ass, causing him to jerk and turn around. "Call me!" She shouts out to him.

The doctor just shakes his head at my friend and continues on his way.

"Johanna! What the hell was that?"

Jo opens her mouth to answer me when it happens.

I hear the jumbled mess of a paramedic report coming in. "White male…lacerations…head injury…car accident…"

The rest is filled with too much static and interference to understand, but I do know one thing; so much for my slow night.

A few moments later, the ER doors fly open and several paramedics wheel in someone on a gurney. Jo and I, along with the trauma doctor on call, are all rushed over to tend to the car accident victim.

The guy lying on the gurney is a bloody mess of torn clothing and lacerations. My body goes on autopilot to help the doctor, but my mind is stuck on the man before me. He looks to be about my age (mid twenties), and has blond hair, currently matted with blood. My gaze wanders down to his torso, which seems to be the least affected by the accident, to his legs.

I gasp in shock; his left leg has a deep laceration running up past his knee to his thigh. The cut has all but stripped away his jeans, leaving the flesh beneath it mangled.

I hear the doctor's orders and my body moves to action once again. Everyone is working to stabilize the guy, and once he is stabilized, the doctor moves over to try to save his leg.

A sharp intake of breath snaps me out of my trance-like state. The man's eyes flutter open and his brilliant blue irises startle me. On instinct, I squeeze his hand and whisper to him. "You're going to be okay. Everything is okay now."

He blinks at me and then his eyes close again. I hope I didn't just lie to the guy with the beautiful blue eyes.


	2. Blur

Peeta’s POV:

 

My senses return to me one by one. Touch is first. I feel the slightly scratchy caress of a thin blanket covering my skin, a firm, yet soft surface beneath me swaddles my body into its warmth. My head is throbbing, but that is nothing compared to the fiery pain that is racing up and down my left leg. I try to ignore the pain as my other senses return.

Next is taste, a cottony, dry taste of nothingness resides within my mouth, making my tongue feel stiff and useless. Water, I need water. 

My nose wrinkles as my sense of smell returns. The sharp scent of disinfectant, with a hint of lemon fills my nostrils. It makes my surroundings smell sterile. I am still focusing on the harsh odor of the disinfectant when my hearing comes back. A soft voice filters into my ears, singing an unfamiliar melody. It is the voice of an angel, and if it weren’t for the pain and the scent of the air around me, I would think I was in heaven.

Finally, my eyes flutter open. The world around me is a blur of fuzzy objects, but I can just make out a human form moving around me. I blink a few times and my vision clears. I’m lying in a hospital bed, tubes and machines surrounding me. 

I can see now that a young woman is tending to me. Her hair is in a dark braid down her back and I now know that she is the voice that I heard singing. Her back is turned to me, so she does not yet realize that I am awake. I open my mouth to speak to her, but it is too dry. Instead, I gently lift up my hand and tap her on the back.

She lets out a little squeak of surprise and whips around, her gray eyes widening in shock. “Oh my God, you’re…you’re awake!”

I realize at that moment that this is the girl that had held my hand and told me that everything was going to be okay. At the time, I figured that I was dying and that an angel came down to help me into heaven. This girl certainly did look like an angel to me. She is beautiful, breathtaking even, and her voice could rival any angel’s I am sure.  
I nod in agreement, but she just blinks her eyes at me like I will just disappear if she keeps staring at me long enough.

“Umm…let me page the doctor. I am sure he will want to see you.”

I nod again because there is nothing else I can do at this point. I have no idea what hospital I am in, or even why I am in the hospital in the first place.

I hear the girl page the doctor, and a few moments later, he arrives. He checks out the readings on the machines around me and then sits in one of the chairs close to my bed. “Glad to see you’re awake. My name is Dr. Aurelius, I’m a neurologist here. Can you tell me your name?”

I search the fog that has crept into my mind and come up with Peeta. Yeah, that sounds right, my name is Peeta. I open my mouth to respond, but only a strangled sounding croak comes out. The girl is there with a cup of water in an instant, and I take it from her and sip it slowly.

“T…thank you. My name is…Peeta.”

Dr. Aurelius smiles at me before turning back to the girl. “You can leave now Katniss.”

Katniss, the girl’s name is Katniss. She goes to leave, but for some odd reason, I have the strong urge to stop her, I want her to stay with me. Just her presence seems to comfort me in a way. “Wait! Can she stay please?”

Katniss stops at the doorway and turns around, looking over at the doctor’s face for his reply.

“Are you okay with that?”

She nods her head. “Yeah, I can stay for a little while.”

I breathe a sigh of relief, but that relief is short lived once Dr. Aurelius asks his next question. “Okay Peeta, what is your last name?”

I search for the answer, but everything is just a huge blur to me. I’m instantly frightened by this, why can’t I recall my last name? “I…I don’t know.”

Katniss gasps and the doctor looks taken aback. “You don’t know?”

“I can’t remember.”

The doctor flips through the papers on the clipboard by my bed, a look of concern growing on his face. “Hmm…”

I’m suddenly angry at the doctor. Surely if I am a patient here he must already know my last name. “Tell me my last name, surely you know.”

He just shakes his head at me and sighs. “Actually, I don’t know. You came in here two days ago after a car accident. You had no identification on you at all. No driver’s license, no credit cards, not even a wallet. You were in pretty bad shape when you came in, a head injury and deep lacerations on your leg, we almost had to amputate. You fell into a coma until just now.”

It takes me a minute or two to digest and understand what the doctor just told me. He has no idea who I am and I was in a coma for two days, two days! Surely someone reported me missing or came to see me. Right?

“Did anyone come to visit me?”

He shakes his head. I look over at Katniss and see that she looks sad.

Dr. Aurelius clears his throat. “I’m guessing you don’t remember the accident. What is the last thing you remember before the accident?”

Again I am forced to search my bleary mind for the answers to his questions. And again I am left with nothing. Panic begins to bubble up inside of me. I can’t remember anything. “Nothing…my mind is blank.”

“Okay, it is sometimes the case in coma victims with head injuries for them to be temporarily confused and lose their memories. Your brain imaging results look normal, so I think you just need some time to heal. Panem Memorial Hospital has one of the leading neurology centers, I can do more testing if need be.”

Panem Memorial Hospital? Doesn’t ring a bell, but yet, it seems as if I have amnesia. It doesn’t matter that the doctor said it is most likely temporary; I am scared out of my mind. How could this happen to me? Why is no one here with me? 

Katniss comes over and sits next to me, patting my hand awkwardly. I feel a spark of warmth course throughout my body as she lays her hand over mine. “You are in good care Peeta, you’ll be okay.”

The doctor nods in agreement. “I’m sure your memories will return to you soon. In the mean time, I will talk to the police and have them do a search on your fingerprints and also put out a report to see if anyone can identify you.”

I nod weakly. It seems as if there is nothing for me to do but wait and hope that my memories return.

Dr. Aurelius leaves and I sink down further into the bed, wishing I could wake up from this nightmare.

Katniss is still here, sitting next to me and chewing her lip like she has something she wants to say.

“What is it?”

She looks up at me and attempts a weak smile. “Why did you want me to stay here with you?”

That’s a good question. Why did I want her to stay? I think about it for a moment before answering. “The only thing I do remember before waking up here today is you. You squeezed my hand and told me that everything was going to be okay. It was comforting at the time and I just knew I was going to need some comfort again.”

She smiles again and nods. “I guess that makes sense. You look tired, why don’t you get some rest?”

I am tired, so I agree with her. “Okay. Will you come and check on me later?”

She laughs lightly. “Of course.”

I smile for the first time today and drift off to sleep.


	3. No New Answers

Katniss’ POV:

 

What a crazy day this turned out to be. I never imagined that blue eyes…I mean Peeta, would wake up while I was tending to him. And now it seems as if he has amnesia. The poor guy looked so lost when I was in his room with him. I can’t even fathom waking up and not being able to remember anything other than my first name.

I know that Dr. Aurelius took him for a few brain imaging scans and when I checked on him later, he was fast asleep, his curly blond hair mussed against the pillow. 

I had the next day off of work so I don’t know who took care of him or if he regained any of his memories or anything. So when I come back into work the day after, I immediately find Johanna to see if she knows anything.

“Hey Jo, you were working yesterday, right?”

Johanna eyes me warily as she gets ready for her shift. “Yeah…why?”

I shrug, trying to come off nonchalant. “Do you happen to know who was in charge of room 236?”

She taps her finger lightly on her chin. “Hmm…I think it was Clove. Why? Is there something special about the patient in 236?”

I think of Peeta’s gorgeous blue eyes and the electric spark that shot between us when our hands touched. “Umm…he’s that guy that came in from the car accident. I wanted to know if he regained any of his memories or if someone came looking for him.”

“Oh yeah, amnesia boy…I know who you are talking about now. I didn’t hear anything, maybe you should ask Clove.”

Yeah right, the last thing I want to do is talk to that stuck up bitch. I look at my room assignments for the day and see that 236 is on my list, so I decide I will just go see Peeta myself.

When I get to his room, I tap lightly on the doorframe to announce my arrival. Peeta is sitting up in bed, watching TV, but when he hears the tapping he turns towards the door.

The smile that spreads across his face when he sees me is bright and cheerful and I can’t help but to smile back at him.

“Hey Peeta, how’s it going?” I go over and check his vital signs and make sure that everything is in proper working order.

Peeta clicks off the TV and turns towards me. “Where were you yesterday?”

I chuckle at him. “I actually do have days off you know. Did Clove take good care of you in my absence?” 

“No. She’s kind of a bitch. I asked for you, but she said that I was stuck with her for the day.”

“Yeah, she isn’t exactly known for her amazing bedside manner. So, did Dr. Aurelius find out anything about your amnesia? Did you regain any memories?”

Peeta chews on his lip and shakes his head sadly at me. “Nothing, my brain patterns look normal and I still don’t remember a thing. Apparently what I have is called ‘retrograde amnesia’, meaning that I can’t remember anything from before the accident, but I have no problem forming new memories. Dr. Aurelius is confident that I will regain my memories, especially if I am able to encounter the places and people that I knew, umm…know I guess.”

Poor guy, he can’t seem to catch a break. I really want to know why no one has come looking for him at the hospital. Does he not have any family? His entire life is a mystery, and not just to me, but to him as well. I can’t even imagine how frustrating that is. “Well, I believe that Dr. Aurelius said he was going to contact the police and see what they could find out about you.”

He nods and sighs loudly. “Yeah, I was hoping they could get the license plate number off of the car and connect it to me somehow, but it was a dead end. I was just a passenger and the driver died on impact. His family doesn’t seem to know me, so I still have no idea why I was even in the car with that guy in the first place.”

I lean over and pat his shoulder to comfort him. I can feel his warm skin through his thin hospital gown, along with some well-defined muscles. Peeta is a very attractive man, there is no denying that, but I cannot focus on that right now. He is a patient first and foremost; he doesn’t need me checking him out. “Hey, everything will be okay. I’m sure your memories will come back in no time and you will be off…doing whatever you do in no time.”

He attempts a half smile, probably mostly for my sake over his own. “It’s just so frustrating. I have to deal with all of this, not remembering anything about my life and stuff, and then apparently I have to go to physical therapy for my damn leg as well. I just can’t win.”

“I’m sorry Peeta. I have to go do my rounds now, but I’ll be back later to check on you, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be here.”

 

All throughout my work day, I find myself distracted by Peeta. According to the other nurses and a few of the doctors, I’m the only one whom Peeta ever really talks to. Sure he will answer any questions thrown at him, but he never offers up more than a few words at a time. He is standoffish to everyone…but me. 

“I don’t get why he only talks to you,” Clove sneers at me.

I roll my eyes at her. “Well, why would he want to talk to you? You are nothing but a bitch to practically every patient, nurse, and doctor working here.”

She sticks here nose up at me, well as much as she can for being such a little thing. “It’s not my fault everyone here is so boring and idiotic. That’s not my point though. I want to know why amnesia boy only opens up to you. You aren’t particularly pretty or intelligent, and you are hardly the most fascinating person on the planet.”

If I wouldn’t lose my job for punching her, I would. Thankfully, Johanna comes to my rescue. 

“Shut up Clove. Just because Katniss doesn’t sleep with a new man every weekend doesn’t make her boring, it just makes you a whore.”

Clove crosses her arms, huffs her annoyance, and stalks off.

“Thanks Jo.”

“No problem. I do think she does have a point though. Amnesia boy only seems to open up to you. Maybe he has a little crush on you or something.”

I shake my head at her. Where do these ridiculous ideas come from? “I doubt it, and stop calling him ‘amnesia boy’, his name is Peeta.”

Jo raises an eyebrow at me. “Oh…first name basis, huh? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you are the one who has a crush on him.”

“Stop, I do not have a crush on him, for all anyone knows, he is married or has a girlfriend or something. And seriously, who uses the word ‘crush’ anymore anyway? What is this, middle school?”

My friend laughs at me, and I shake my head at her before going on my lunch break.

I am just about to bite into my turkey and cheese sandwich when I get paged to go to Peeta’s room.

Thinking that something is wrong, or that he regained some memories, I rush over to room 236. Clove is there with a sour look on her face, but Peeta visibly brightens at my arrival.

“What’s wrong?”

Clove rolls her eyes. “He insisted that I get you, he wants some company while he eats lunch.” With that said, she leaves.

Peeta grins and motions towards his meal. “I didn’t want to eat alone; could you keep me company for a little bit?”

The dimple in his cheek when he grins is adorable, and how could I pass up an opportunity to spend more time with someone as cute as he is? “Okay, I’m on lunch break so I’ll go grab my food and come back here.”

When I come back, food in hand, I grab the visitor chair and swing it around to face Peeta. 

He finishes his bite of chicken and smiles at me again. “Thanks Katniss. I just feel so alone in the world right now. I feel like no one cares about me, or even knows that I exist. I feel so lost, and being with you makes me feel a little bit better.”

“Everything will be okay. You’ll be back to yourself in no time,” I assure him.

Peeta pushes his carrots around on his plate. “I sure hope so, or else I might have to start off new. A brand new life where I know no one.”

He looks so sad and forlorn that I can’t help but to place my hand over his to comfort him. I try to ignore the spark that catches between us. “You know me, that’s a start right?”

The corner of his lips turns up. “Yes, that’s a start.”


	4. Nightmares

Peeta’s POV:

 

I feel myself grow more and more frustrated as the days go on and there is no news about my identity. Dr. Aurelius came back and told me one day that there was no match for my fingerprints in AFIS, which is actually kind of good, because it means I’m not a registered criminal.

Still, I don’t exactly know what to do with myself anymore. When the doctor comes in the next day, I really hope he has some good news for me.

“Hey Peeta, how are you feeling?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I’m okay; do you have any news for me?”

“The police have put out a statewide search for anyone who has information on your identity. Your picture and basic stats will be posted on local news stations across the state. I’m sure that somebody will see it and be able to identify you.”

I nod at the doctor, sincerely hoping that he is correct. It feels so strange to know nothing about myself or my past. I don’t know my last name, my age, my occupation, my family members; I don’t know anything.

I feel so alone. The only ray of sunshine in my life is my angel Katniss. She will always be my angel because she gives me hope, even in my darkest hours. She is the only thing I remembered before waking up from a coma, and the first beautiful sight I laid eyes on when I awoke. 

Dr. Aurelius pats my hand awkwardly. “Don’t worry Peeta, I’m sure we will have this all figured out soon.”

I only wish I felt so sure…

After the doctor leaves, I wait impatiently for Katniss to arrive. It is still early, and she usually doesn’t come in until nine in the morning on most days. I can’t wait to see her. Even when I feel at my absolute worse, she always seems to be able to put a smile on my face.

Some of the other nurses are nice too, but none of them compare to my angel. Maybe she just pities me because of what happened, but that doesn’t seem like something she would do. She seems too genuine for that.

When it is a couple minutes after nine, I hear footsteps outside of my doorway. I run my fingers through my hair and sit up in my bed, making myself as presentable as possible for Katniss.

And then, Johanna walks into the room. Disappointment rushes over me in waves. I know that Katniss has days off of work, but I was sure that she told me she was working today and I was really looking forward to seeing her.

Johanna’s spiky hair comes into view as she flips on the lights. “Hey Peeta.”

“Where’s Katniss?”

She scowls at me as she checks the equipment surrounding me. “Oh? Am I not good enough for you or something?”

 

I glare angrily at her. She is very sarcastic at times and I am not in the mood to deal with her antics. “She said she was working today.”

“She switched shifts with me. She will be here in the afternoon, don’t get your panties in a twist.”

I should be angry at what she just said to me, but I find that I can’t be, not when I know that Katniss will be here later in the day after all. “Are you two friends?”

Johanna raises a dark brow at me and crosses her arms across her chest. “Yeah, we are. Why do you ask?”

I want to know more about Katniss. I want to know about her life, her past, her family…everything. We have only made small talk so far, since I couldn’t exactly tell her anything about me. I know a little bit about her, but I want to know more, much more. “Can you tell me about her?”

Her eyes narrow and before I can say anything else, she closes the door to my room and gets on my bed to straddle me. Her index finger points angrily at my face as she speaks. “Now, listen here, amnesia boy, I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m not sure I like the fact that you are obsessing over my friend. Give me one good reason why I should tell you anything about Katniss.”

I push her finger away from my face. “Get off of me.”

She does as I ask, but then taps her foot impatiently on the floor. “Well, what is your reason?”

I search my mind for a reason that Johanna would deem acceptable. “Umm…I’m really not trying to be a creeper or anything; I just want to get to know her better. She seems like such a great person, and she is the one who gave me hope in the first place. I don’t know…I feel connected to her in some strange sense.”

Johanna sighs and then pulls up a chair next to me. “Okay, what do you want to know?”

I ask her everything I can think of, and what I find out makes me like Katniss even more. Her favorite color is green, she likes archery and singing, her mother is also a nurse and her sister is in a pre-med program at college, she hasn’t had much luck in relationships and is currently single. Johanna rounds out her information by stating that if I hurt Katniss, she will rip my balls off and feed them to me. I believe her.

_______________________________________________________________________

Cakes. I am surrounded by cakes. Birthday cakes, wedding cakes, graduation cakes, you name it, and they are here. The cakes are beautiful with spun sugar and colored frosting conforming into flowers and other decorations. The wedding cakes are extravagant, tiers and tiers of white icing and fondant, edible sugar pearls, and intricate designs adorn these cakes.

And suddenly, I’m angry, very angry. I take my fist and smash it through the cakes, one by one. I destroy them all, cake, filling, and icing exploding throughout the room. There is only one left, a tall, seven tiered wedding cake. It is the most beautiful cake I have ever seen, patterns of sugar lace and swirls decorate the edges and a hint of pink roses adorns each layer.

As much as I admire the hard work that must have gone into making and decorating this cake, I want to destroy it. I have to destroy it. The sight of it fills me with so much rage and anger. I walk over to it and swipe my finger across the frosting, marring its perfection. It tastes so sweet, sickly sweet, and after that first taste, I knock over the cake. I stomp it into the ground until it is nothing more than a huge mess on the floor. Only then am I satisfied.

 

I blink and I am in a different room. It is so dark that I cannot see a thing at first, so dark and cold that I am instantly uneasy. That’s when the rain starts, but it isn’t normal rain, it’s not water that starts to fall around me. It’s diamonds, hundreds and thousands of little diamonds. They look so beautiful, sparkling as they fall around me. But then, they begin to cut my skin. The sharp edges of the gems scrap and cut my arms, legs, and face. The glittering diamonds continue to fall, lacerating my body. My blood begins to drip from my body and I scream.

______________________________________________________________________

 

I wake up with a cry falling from my lips. Katniss is there next to me, her hand on my shoulder. Her gray eyes are worried and she bites down on her lip. “Peeta? Are you okay?”

I shudder as the dreams come back to me. “I had a nightmare, two actually.”

Katniss sits down next to me and takes my hand into her own. Her skin is warm and the contact causes tingles to radiate throughout my body. “Do you want to tell me about them?”

I don’t really want to recall the details of my dreams, but I feel like sharing them would help me become closer to Katniss, so I do. “In one dream I was destroying cakes and in the other diamonds were falling down on me and cutting open my skin.”

She gasps and grips my hand tighter. “Oh Peeta, that sounds terrible. I wonder where such disturbing dreams like that could come from. Maybe they have something to do with your life and it is your mind’s subconscious way of telling you something.”

I nod, what she is saying makes sense, but what could destroying cakes and diamonds cutting me have to do with the life I can’t seem to remember? “You might be right, but if my life is being reflected in nightmares, maybe I don’t want to remember it after all.”

“Don’t say that. Nightmares happen to everyone, maybe just the cakes and diamonds themselves are a reminder of your life, not what you were doing to them or them to you.”

I blink at her. She is so gorgeous and kind, no matter what happens to me, I know I want her in my life. But I’m not sure whether she actually likes to be around me, or if she is just this nice to everyone. “Katniss?”

She smiles back at me as I shift uneasily in the bed. “Yeah?”

I take a deep breath. “Whatever happens to me, I want you to be in my life. Is…is that okay?”

Katniss looks a bit shocked at first, but she recovers quickly and grins. “Of course Peeta, I’ll be there for you.”

I wish I could kiss her right now. Even just a small kiss on the cheek would suffice, but I know that she would not be very receptive of that. After what Johanna told me about some of her past relationships, I can tell that she doesn’t give her heart away easily. That’s okay though, because I am more than up for the challenge.


	5. Advice

Katniss’ POV:

 

Johanna calls me after work. She insists that I accompany her to the local bar down the road so I can be her ‘wingman’…err, ‘wingwoman’ I guess.

“You better fuckin’ dress up too, none of that ratty old jeans and a T-shirt bullshit like last time.”

I roll my eyes at her even though I know she can’t see me. “I got it. I’ll meet you there is twenty minutes. Okay?”

“Maybe we can find you a man too…”

“Bye Jo.”

I hang up the phone before she can respond and get changed into a pair of black pants and a purple halter top. I barely even own clothes like these, but I do have a few outfits for occasions such as helping Jo find a man.

I start to curl my hair, but then I think better of it and braid to the side as usual. Despite what Johanna says, she knows that I don’t want to pick up some guy at a bar. My heart isn’t exactly won easily and I don’t exactly relish the idea of some drunk guy feeling me up in an alleyway. No, that’s Jo’s game, not mine, never mine.

I want something real or nothing at all. Lately, it seems as if ‘nothing at all’ is my norm. Sure I’ve gone on some dates, but nothing substantial as of late.

 

When I arrive at the bar, Jo is already there in our usual spot. She likes to sit at the bar near the center because she says we get the most attention there. 

She spots me and waves me over. “About time! Let’s get our drink on!”

I shake my head and laugh at her. Her spiky hair is gelled and she has on a mini skirt and a satiny, almost see-through top. With her looks, she often gets both male and female attention, but any attention seems to be fine by her.

I sit down on the bar stool next to her and we begin our night.

 

Two hours and several shots later, we are both a drunken mess. She currently has three guys’ numbers and two girls’ numbers resting inside of her purse and is looking for a few more before she calls it a night.

“You know what?”

“What?” My head is spinning slightly, but somehow I manage not to slur my words.

“You know who would probably be smokin’ hot once he cleaned up a little?”

I shake my head and then immediately regret it. It feels like my brain is rattling around in my skull. “Who?”

“The guy in 236. His eyes are to die for, and he’s got some crazy sex hair going on. Besides, have you seen his muscles?”

I certainly have seen his muscles, and his eyes and his hair are pretty amazing as well, but I can’t believe Jo would say those things about Peeta, maybe she is thinking about someone else. “You mean Peeta? You think he’s sexy?”

Johanna tips back another shot of tequila and grins. “Hell yeah, can you imagine that man in a tux? Too bad he has the hots for you and not me.”

I blink at her in confusion. “What do you mean he has the hots for me?”

She hits my shoulder playfully. “Are you fucking blind Everdeen? He’s all about you! Hell, this morning he was asking me all sorts of questions about you. He says he feels a ‘connection’ between the two of you”

My mind is reeling with this new information. My brain attempts to process what my friend is saying, but I’m still confused. “What?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I told him a few things about you, but I’m sure it’s just a harmless crush. Besides, I threatened bodily harm on him if he hurt you.”

I’m not sure how I feel about Johanna telling Peeta about me, but he seems like a very nice guy. Plus, I’m sure when his memories return that he will be back to whatever girlfriend he has got to have waiting for him.

But why has no one come forth to see him or identify him? I just don’t understand.

I shrug at Jo. “I’m sure he will forget all about me once his memories return.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You could do a lot worse than him you know. He’s sexy as hell, at least get a good fuck out of him.”

Johanna knows that I don’t like to just ‘fuck’ men for the hell of it, but I wouldn’t mind getting to know Peeta a little bit better, so maybe I’ll take some of her advice after all.

 

Thankfully, I don’t have to work until the afternoon. The hangover I woke up with was pretty wicked. I still remember Jo’s advice though. I plan to keep it in mind as things with Peeta progress.

When I get to his room, Peeta is sitting up and smiling. “Hey Katniss! Guess what?”

He sounds so giddy, almost like a little kid on Christmas day. “What?”

“My leg has healed enough that I can start physical therapy tomorrow! That means I can actually get out of this damned bed and move around!”

I smile back, genuinely happy for him. “That’s great! Soon you should be able to leave the hospital, right?”

His smile fades and he fidgets in the bed. “Well, in a couple weeks I can. Dr. Aurelius says that there is nothing left to do except hope that my memories come back on their own or someone sees my identification report. However, I really don’t have anywhere I can go. I mean, I have no driver’s license or credit card and I can’t even remember my own last name let alone my social security number or anything.”

Shit, I didn’t think about any of that. Peeta has no where to go until he gets a lead on his identity. Surely, there has to be something someone can do to help the poor guy. I sigh heavily and sit on the visitor’s chair next to him.

I pat his hand, trying not to notice the way my nerve endings seem to tingle with every touch. “We will figure something out for you, I promise.”

Peeta turns his hand and clasps my own. The tingles multiply and I feel like my hand is almost burning from his touch. It isn’t a bad feeling though. In fact, it is quite the opposite. 

“Thanks. I guess they did find close to two thousand dollars in my pants’ pockets, but that certainly won’t get me very far.”

That’s a lot of money to have lying around in your pockets, especially without a wallet to put it in. I find that very strange, but I don’t say anything to Peeta about it, he doesn’t need any added stress. 

“Have you had any more bizarre dreams?”

He shakes his head and squeezes my hand tighter. “No, not yet. I can’t help but to think that the dreams had something to do with my life before the accident, but I can’t imagine what they could represent.”

I nod and then bite my lip. There is one more thing I want to ask him, but I am almost afraid to bring it up. 

Peeta must have noticed me biting my lip because he gently brushes my hair from my face with a look of concern on his own. “What’s wrong?”

I shy away from his touch. As much as I like it, I don’t know quite what to do about it as of yet. “Why did you ask Johanna about me? Why didn’t you just ask me?”

Peeta drops his hand and turns slightly away from me, a tinge of a blush playing across his cheeks. “I…I don’t know, I just felt weird wanting to know all these things about you when I can’t tell you anything about myself in return.”

I guess that makes sense, but he shouldn’t have to learn about me from a third party. “I get it, but I want you to know that you can ask me anything, okay? I’m here for you. I’m your friend.”

His face lights up at my words, but after I say the word ‘friend’, he frowns. That’s when I really get it. Johanna was right. Peeta certainly does have the ‘hots’ for me. I think it’s more than that though; he wants to be something more than friends.

That’s the problem though. As much as he seems like a decent guy, I know nothing about him. He could be a serial killer, a womanizing playboy, married with five kids, anything. He’s an enigma, and despite my friend’s earlier advice and how much I am attracted to him, I’m not quite ready to give out my heart to him.


	6. Motivation

Peeta’s POV:

 

I’m finally ready to go to physical therapy for my leg today. The doctors all say that my leg is healed sufficiently enough for me to begin the therapy, but that it might still take a while before it is fully healed.

I’m not exactly looking forward to the therapy. I know that it will be tough and painful and it will just tack on more money that I will owe the hospital. Why can’t I just remember who I am? Why can’t anyone identify me? I almost feel like I am so hardened criminal on the run, no family, no real home, nothing. Why else would I have no identification and just have two thousand dollars wadded up in my pants’ pockets? 

I don’t feel like a criminal, not that I know what that would feel like. I just feel like I was and am a normal guy, who was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. That it was just rotten luck that I ended up losing my memories.

I try not to let myself get too depressed about my situation. Katniss helps me sometimes, just knowing that she is there for me and seeing her smile makes my whole day. But yesterday, she friend-zoned me. I guess I should be happy just to have her friendship, but I want so much more from her. I want to kiss her. Her pouty lips, the beauty marks that dot her neck and collarbone, her full cheeks, everywhere. I want to hold her in my arms and feel her warmth surround me, making me feel whole again. But most of all, I just want her to feel the same way about me that I do about her.

I don’t really blame her that she only sees me as a friend. She knows nothing about me, I know nothing about me. The lack of a wedding ring on my finger tells me that it is not likely that I am married, but I could have a girlfriend out there, or even children. That thought scares me. I can’t even imagine if I ever saw them again and had to explain that ‘sorry, daddy doesn’t remember you.’

I shake my thoughts out of my head as an orderly wheels me down to the physical therapy room that they have in the hospital.

A sloppy, middle-aged man walks into the room, half staggering as he makes his way over to me.

“Okay boy, let’s get started, shall we?”

“My name is Peeta.”

He scrunches up his face at me and shakes his head. “Don’t you have amnesia? So how the hell do you know that your real name is Peeta?”

I’m taken aback by this man’s attitude towards me. He must be drunk. His clothes reek of liquor and his demeanor screams intoxicated. “I just know. Just like I know that you are drunk.”

“No, not drunk, just hungover. I don’t come to work drunk…anymore.”

This man is a real piece of work. How exactly is he supposed to help me anyway? And if this is how he acts hungover, I never want to see him actually drunk. “What’s your name again?”

He glares at me and inspects a clipboard left on the nearby table. “Haymitch. Now let’s get started so I can get back home to the love of my life.”

I smirk at him. “And who is that? Let me guess, a nice tall bottle of whiskey?”

Haymitch gives me a crazy looking grin. “See? Now you’re learning!”

 

Physical therapy is a lot tougher than I had ever imagined. My leg is very weak and with Haymitch constantly yelling at me, it makes it no better. He always wants more, more reps, more movement, and more motivation. However, I’m quickly running out of motivation.

“Why are you giving up? What’s wrong with you?”

I shake my head. “I can’t do this.”

Haymitch grips my shoulders roughly at looks me in the eye. “We need to find you some motivation. What motivates you?”

I shrug. I don’t know what motivates me. Anything that used to motivate me is lost in the confines of my brain somewhere. “I don’t know.”

“I knew you’d be difficult, but seriously? You have to have something that you want right now, something that makes you happy.”

Katniss. Her face automatically forms into my mind when he says those words to me. I want Katniss. Katniss makes me happy. I really don’t know how that will be useful as motivation though.

“Well…there is this one girl…”

Haymitch raises a scruffy brow at me. “Oh? Go on…”

I feel my face flush slightly as I tell him about my undeniable attraction and connection to Katniss. He listens surprisingly well and when his eyes brighten, I know that an idea has popped into his mind.

“Ah, yes. I know who you are talking about and I think I might have a way to get some motivation out of you.”

I have no idea what he plans to do, but when I hear him page to have Katniss come down to physical therapy, I am instantly anxious. “Wha…what are you doing?”

He claps me on the back. “Giving you a source of motivation boy!”

 

Katniss comes in a few minutes later, a look of confusion on her face. “What the hell do you want Haymit…” Her words trail off when she sees me. “Oh, hey Peeta.”

I smile and give her a nervous wave, still unsure of Haymitch’s plan. 

Haymitch winks at Katniss. “Hey there sweetheart, the boy here needs some motivation for his therapy, and I think you are just the lady to do it.”

Katniss takes a step back, a look of horror on her face. “What exactly are you thinking Haymitch?”

He laughs out loud at her expression. “Settle down sweetheart. I just thought that if the boy here does what he is asked for the day, that you could give him a little…reward.”

What the hell is he talking about? A reward? 

Katniss eyes him warily. “What kind of reward?”

“Give the boy a kiss…if he succeeds.”

I have to intercede here. I don’t want Katniss to think that I came up with this crazy plan. “No, you don’t have to do that. Don’t listen to him…”

She nods at me and then turns back to Haymitch. “Okay, I’ll give him a kiss on the cheek, but that’s it.”

He considers her answer for a moment before turning to me. “Hmm…is that enough to motivate you?”

I nodded meekly. I would do just about anything for a kiss from Katniss, even if it was on the cheek.

 

Since my time in physical therapy for the day was almost complete, Haymitch asked me to run through everything he had taught me today one last time, and if I completed it, I got my kiss.

I push my body as far as it will go today. Katniss cheers me on from the side and I try not to get too distracted by her plump, pink lips. 

Just when my body feels like it might give out, I somehow struggle through my last rep and collapse back into the chair.

Haymitch manages a smile in my direction. “Congratulations boy!” He then turns to Katniss. “Sweetheart, give the boy his prize!”

I feel my body shaking from both the physical exertion that it had gone through and the thought of Katniss’ lips on my cheek. She steps closer and gives me a reassuring smile before leaning down and pressing her lips against my cheek.

Sharp sparks of electricity radiate from where she kissed me and travel throughout my entire body. I know my face must be bright red now, but I don’t even care. I got a kiss from Katniss, and that is all that registers in my mind right now.

Katniss smiles as she pulls away. “Good job Peeta.”

I blush harder. “Thanks.”

 

I’m still exhausted when I get back to my room, so I close my eyes and try to rest. Soon I fall asleep and straight into a dream.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m sitting on a sofa across from a young couple. The man is handsome and the girl beside him is clutching his hand and grinning from ear to ear.

They announce their engagement to me and I am delighted for them. However, something is nagging me in the back of my mind. It asks why I can’t be happy like that, why I can’t find someone who clutches my hand and looks at me with all the admiration and love in the world.

Outwardly, I smile and congratulate the couple on their happy news, but inwardly, my heart feels like it is being torn into pieces.

 

I open my eyes and find myself in someplace new. A woman whose face remains in the shadows is yelling at me, and I can tell by her tone of voice that this isn’t the first time she has yelled at me like this.

“You have to do it. I’m sorry, but you have no choice.”

Her words fill me with dread. Whatever it is that she insists upon me is not something that I want. Her apology is meaningless with the way she is screaming at me. She wants something from me, something that I never wanted for myself.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up in a cold sweat, my breath coming out in short pants of air. Those dreams felt so real. And the sense of sadness and then dread that they brought unto me was terrifying. The emotions linger now even after I have woken up.

What do they mean? What is going on with me?


	7. A New Man

Katniss’ POV:

 

Kissing Peeta probably was not the best idea in the world, even if it just was on the cheek. Not that I didn’t enjoy giving him the kiss, because I did, I really did. No, the issue lies in the fact that I could get in serious trouble if my boss finds out. And then there is the fact that I enjoyed kissing him way too much. That simple brush of my lips against the heated skin of his cheek was electrifying, and amazing, and scary. I’ve never felt this way about a simple kiss before, a friendly kiss, a kiss for motivational purposes only.

I try to tell myself time and time again that I can’t fall for Peeta, that I know nothing about him, nothing about his past, but my own warnings don’t seem to be enough lately.

As I walk into his room this morning, I can hear Dr. Aurelius speaking with him. I don’t want to eavesdrop, but since my shift has begun, I make my way into the room and wave to the both of them.

“Hey Peeta. Hi Dr. Aurelius.”

Peeta smiles and waves and the doctor says hello.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

Dr. Aurelius shakes his head. “No, that’s okay, we are finished talking now, but if you have a moment, I need to talk to you out in the hallway for a moment.”

Shit. He must have heard about how I kissed Peeta. I’m in big trouble now. I hurry back into the hallway and wait for the inevitable. 

The doctor follows a moment later and closes the door so Peeta can’t hear us. “I wanted to talk to you about Peeta.”

I nod at him and bite my lower lip. “Okay, what about him?”

“He’s being discharged in a few days. He still needs physical therapy for his leg, but it can be done without him actually staying at the hospital. I can find no medical reason for him to continue to stay here. That poses a problem for him as he has no where to stay. I was just talking to him about his options.”

I have no idea why the doctor is telling me these things about Peeta, but I figure that he must have a good reason so I continue to listen to him. “What can be done to help him?”

“I’ve already talked to the local police, which have taken in up with the government. They are willing to provide Peeta with a new identity, at least until he can be properly identified. He will be issued a fake birth certificate, along with a new last name, social security number, and credit card to get him started out on his own. Since, we can find no evidence suggesting that he was involved in any sort of criminal activity, he will be allowed to make a new life for himself.”

There is something still bothering me about this whole deal. “But how can you be sure that he wasn’t a criminal? How do you know that he won’t wake up with all of his memories intact one day, remember that he was a serial killer, and revert back to his old ways?”

Dr. Aurelius pauses for a moment before answering me. “He’s a new man Katniss. All of his memories are gone for now, and if you ask me, he would have to have something pretty significant happen in order for them all to return to him. He’s like a blank slate now; he can start over and build himself a new life, regardless of what he’s done in the past. Even if by some miracle, he wakes up and remembers his old life, that doesn’t mean that he will go back to being the same person he was before the accident. In my professional opinion, the man in that room is Peeta now, and he is not likely to change.”

“Why are you telling me all of this? Doesn’t this violate some confidentiality rule?”

The doctor nods. “It would, but Peeta gave me permission to tell you. Plus, he will no longer be a patient that you take care of as of Thursday. Look Katniss, I know this is going to sound strange, but I know how Peeta feels about you and on the off chance that you feel anything for him in return, but are too afraid to pursue it, I wanted to tell you all of this. I wanted to tell you that it is unlikely that his memories will ever return, and he deserves a friend, at the very least.”

How does he know so much? And what’s this about him knowing how Peeta feels about me? I don’t even really know how he feels about me! Although, by the way he reacted when I kissed him, I sure could guess. Do I feel the same way though? Do I have feelings for Peeta that go beyond purely platonic? I’m really not sure yet. I’m attracted to him and he seems so nice and genuine, and it sure helps his case that the doctor believes that he wasn’t some crazy maniac before he lost his memories, but it’s just so difficult for me to put my heart out there. I want to do something for him though, something that shows him that he is not alone in the world. I want him to know that I do care for him, even if it is just as friends for now. 

I think to myself for a moment, and it hits me. I have the perfect way to help him. “Thank you for telling me all of that. Does Peeta have anywhere to stay as of yet?”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m about to ask some of my most trusted colleagues if any of them can take him in until he can find a job and get a place of his own, but I know that that it will be difficult to find someone.”

I shake my head. “There is no need to ask anyone. I’ll do it.”

He raises a dark brow at me. “You will? Are you sure?”

I nod. “Yes, I have an extra room and I live just two blocks away. He can easily travel to his physical therapy appointments from my place and I wouldn’t mind the company.”

Dr. Aurelius smiles at me, the corner of his eyes crinkling. “Okay Katniss, why don’t you go tell him the good news?”

I open the door back up to see Peeta sitting up in bed, an anxious look on his face. “Is everything okay Katniss? You two were talking for quite a while out there.”

I sit down next to him in the visitor’s chair and give him a smile. “Yes, everything is just fine. Dr. Aurelius told me that you will be discharged on Thursday and you need someplace to stay. Well, I think I have just the place.”

Peeta sits up straighter, his blue eyes clear and hopeful. “Yeah? Where at?”

I lay my hand carefully across his and give it a gentle squeeze. “How would you like to stay with me for a while?”

His eyes widen considerably as what I just said sinks in. “What? Really?”

“Yes really. I have an extra room you can stay in, and it’s really close by so you can still get to your physical therapy appointments.”

Peeta grins so widely that it brightens up the entire room. This is the happiest I have ever seen him. “You…you really don’t mind?”  
Seeing him so excited warms my heart. I’m going to have to be extra careful not to fall for him now. Something tells me that I might fail. “I’d love to have you. But, if you wake up one morning and remember that you are a serial killer, do me a favor and let me live.”

He chuckles at me. “I would never hurt you Katniss. You have given me hope, even in my darkest moments.”

I lean over and give him a quick hug. I hope I’ve made the right decision.


	8. A Fresh Start

Peeta’s POV:

 

This is it. Today I get to become an entirely new person. I get a fresh start on life. Of course I’m still hoping to regain my memories at some point, but today is the day I finally get to leave the hospital.

I am thankful beyond words to Katniss for offering to take me in until all of my paperwork can be completed and I can find a job. I never wanted to impose on her, but she insists that it is no issue for me to stay with her at her apartment. Just the thought of living with her has me nervous and excited all at the same time. Butterflies rapidly flap their wings inside of my stomach, and I kind of feel like I might puke, but I’m sure it’s just my nerves.

As soon as I am discharged, Katniss comes to get me.

“Hey Peeta, I got you a set of new clothes like you asked. We can’t have you leaving here in a hospital gown.”

I smile at her and take the new clothes to change into. I gave her some of the money that was found in my pants’ pockets to buy me a set of clothes. Once we leave here, she is going to take me to Target to get some more clothes and other essentials like razors and deodorant. “Thanks Katniss. I really appreciate everything that you are doing for me. You have no idea.”

I watch her gorgeous face as it turns pink, her blush making her look even more beautiful. “It’s no problem; I have always wanted a roommate.”

 

After our trip to Target, Katniss takes me to her place and gives me a tour. “Okay, my apartment isn’t that big or anything, but it should suffice for now.”   
She leads me through the small living room and eat-in kitchen before leading me down a hallway. “My room is through this door, but it’s a mess right now so I’d rather not show you it.” Katniss walks past that door and opens the next one, revealing a teal blue bathroom. “This is the only bathroom. I only ask that you clean up after yourself in here.”

“Of course I will.”

She nods and then leads me to the final door at the end of the hallway. “And this will be your room.” She turns the knob and opens the door. The room is small with just a twin bed, dresser, and desk with an older model computer sitting on it. Several cardboard boxes are stacked near the back of the room as well.

Katniss frowns and motions towards the boxes. “Yeah, I forgot to mention that I have some of my things stored in here. Is that an issue?”

I chuckle lightly and shake my head at her. “No, not at all. It’s your place and it’s not like I have many things I need to put I here myself.”

She laughs. “I guess you are right. Well, I’ll give you some time to put away the stuff you bought. I’m going to call and get us a pizza for dinner, does that work for you?”

I nod at her. “Sure, that’s fine.”

Katniss smiles and backs out of the room, shutting the door behind her. As I am putting away my new clothes and other items, I can’t help the smile that blooms over my face at the thought of the two of us eating dinner together. I know it’s just pizza between roommates, but I feel as if I can finally get close to her. Now I can finally try to become something more with this amazing girl who has taken me under her wing.

I have to wonder how she feels about me though. I mean obviously she must think positively of me, or she would never have let me come live with her. But I need to know if there is any chance of us becoming romantically involved one day. I don’t exactly expect to sweep her off of her feet any time soon. She is probably going to be guarded around me for quite a while. I can’t blame her either. She doesn’t know anything about me really, and I don’t either. I can only hope that with my new fresh start, that I can convince her that whatever happened to me in my past is over, and that I want to spend my present, and hopefully my future, with her.

“Peeta! Pizza is here!”

I shake myself out of my thoughts and head back out to the kitchen where Katniss is busy placing paper plates and napkins on the small kitchen table. “I hope you like pepperoni and extra cheese.”

I shrug and sit down, helping myself to a greasy slice. “Sounds good to me.”

Halfway through dinner we are laughing and having a nice time chatting with one another. I’m so comfortable around her; she makes me feel like everything is right in the world when I know that I’m sure to have a lot of trouble ahead, especially trying to start out a new life. 

“So Peeta, did they give you a new last name for your identification and other documents?”

I nod and finish swallowing my bite of pizza before responding. “They went with the classic…Smith.”

“Peeta Smith? That’s kinda ridiculous. Can’t they come up with something better?”

I chuckle at her. “It doesn’t matter. I’m still hoping that my memories will return to me and I can regain my previous identity.”

Katniss picks at her pizza. Her eyes are downcast and I can tell that she is thinking very seriously about something.

I take a chance and lay my hand over hers in comfort. Her hand is warm and soft under mine and I am immediately grateful that she doesn’t pull away. “What’s wrong?”

She shakes her head, not bothering to look up at me. “Nothing…it’s nothing.”

It’s not nothing though…I can tell. I wish that she would trust me, that she would tell me what’s on her mind. “Katniss, please tell me. I want to help you if I can.”

Her eyes slowly lift up to look at me. She chews her bottom lip and sighs. “I really hope that you can regain your memories soon, but it worries me at the same time.”

I nod at her. “I can understand that. You are afraid I’ll turn out to be some killer or thief or something…”

A short laugh escapes her and she shakes her head. “No…nothing like that. Your soul is too good for anything like that, I can just tell. No, it’s more like I’m afraid that whenever your memories return, that you will go back to your old life and forget about me.”

Wow, just wow. She doesn’t want me to forget about her…not that I ever could. Maybe she does care for me a little bit. My heart starts to beat harder in my chest at that thought. I need to clarify things with her before I get too excited though. “I could never forget about you. You are the angel that gave me hope and stood by my when I had no one. I’ll always want you in my life.”

She smiles so brightly at me that I feel like a new ray of sunshine has filtered into my life. “I…I care for you Peeta, a lot. I don’t really trust others or let them into my life that easily, but there is just something about you that makes you special.”

I break out into a grin, unable to contain my emotions from showing on my face. She cares about me. Katniss Everdeen, my angel, cares about me. I’m not sure if that caring involves romantic feelings or not, but by what she has just told me, I think I at least have a chance. “Thank you Katniss. I care for you so much.”

When dinner is over, I go over to her and wrap her into a strong hug. I love the feeling of her warm body pressed against mine, her soft curves hugging my body just right. Briefly, my mind flicks to an image of her body, naked underneath mine and I have to quickly shake those thoughts from my head before I get too excited.

When we break apart, Katniss is smiling. “I’m happy to have you here. Umm…why don’t you see if you can find a show on TV or something? I need to take a shower.”

“Okay sure.”

As she heads off towards the shower, my mind immediately goes back to the sexy image of her naked. I flick on the TV and attempt to find something to distract me from my dirty thoughts, but when I hear the water start, it only gets worse.

I imagine the water pelting her bare skin, dripping down her neck and trailing over her breasts. I feel myself begin to harden in my pants and I want to stop these images before I become too compromised, but I find that I cannot.

Before I know it, my hands travels into my pants and I begin to stroke myself as a fantasy of the two of us begins to play in my head.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I join her in the shower just as she starts to soap up her shoulders. 

“Can I help you with that?”

She turns around in surprise, but smiles when she sees me, naked in her shower with her.

“Of course.”

I take the washcloth from her hand and trail it over her shoulders, gently massaging the soap into her soft skin. Next, I like the cloth travel to her breasts, lightly soaping one up with the cloth while my other hand comes up to cup the soft swell and gently knead it.

Katniss moans lightly at my touch. “Mmm…Peeta.”

Her hands come down to my chest and run over my pecs, causing a groan to fall from my lips.

“Touch me,” she demands.

I chuckle at her and kiss her forehead. “I am touching you.”

Her eyes flutter open and she gives me a devious smile. “No…touch me here.” Her hand grasps mine and leads me down to her wet center.

I gasp at the warmth that I feel down there and slowly slide my fingers across her folds.

“Yes, just like that…”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I come with a gasp and quickly locate some tissues to clean myself up with. I feel kind of dirty, jacking off on Katniss’ couch while she showers, but I haven’t had any kind of sexual release since I don’t even know when, and it needed to happen.

After I am cleaned up, I situate myself back on the couch and find some old movie to watch.

The water shuts off a moment later, and Katniss comes out in just a towel, her wet her dripping down her back.

I feel myself twitch at the sight of her. If this is what living with her will be like, I am so doomed.


	9. Outtake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just an outtake that takes place a few days before the first chapter. Enjoy!

The wind whipped back his hair as he ran from the house. He half expected for someone to wake up, to call after him, to chase him down.

Nothing.

It was a little after three in the morning, and everyone was sound asleep in the house, with no clue that when they awoke, he would be gone.

He had no real plan, no real idea of where he was going; just that he had to leave. Now.

He had to get out of the only place he had ever called home, had to leave behind everything that he loved or once thought he loved. 

Honestly, he thought he could go through with it, thought he could be the dutiful son and make everyone happy. Everyone but him, that is. He couldn’t though. When it came down to the wire, he ran.

He unlocked his car door and shut it behind him softly. He knew that as soon as the engine roared to life, it risked him being found out. But he had to do it, he had to be free.

He placed the key into the ignition of his 2007 Hyundai Elantra and fired it up. Without checking to see if anyone would wake up from the sudden noise, he took off into the night.

He made it ten, fifteen, twenty, and finally fifty miles away from his hometown before pulling over onto a desolate side street. It was only a ten minute walk from the nearest highway, but still far away enough for what he had planned up on his way there.

The car stopped off the side of the road and he quickly cut the engine, letting the sudden silence wash over him. 

His hands shook as panic began to wash over him. He was taking a big risk, and it might all be for naught, but he knew that there was no turning back now.

One deep breath later, and a silent prayer sent to the heavens, he exited his vehicle.

He lifted his wallet out of his pocket and carefully extracted his stash of money. It was a little over two grand, not much, but hopefully enough to get him far, far away.

Next, he tossed the wallet back onto the driver’s seat of the car. He left everything else in his wallet. His driver’s license, his credit cards, everything lay inside of the black leather, left for whomever was lucky (or unlucky) enough to find it.

He desperately wanted to take his cell phone, but he knew better. She would stop at nothing to find him, and cell phones could most definitely be traced to his location.

He frowned at the device in his hand before sighing and throwing it on the pavement below him. It broke into a few pieces, but he still wasn’t satisfied so he smashed it further under his shoe.

The cracking of the case seemed to signify that this was the end of an era, that he was about to embark on an entirely new one.

He shut the door to his car and patted the hood affectionately before walking off into the night.

He did not look back.


	10. Taking A Chance

Katniss’ POV:

 

I am such an idiot. I’m so used to living on my own that when I got out of the shower, I just wrapped a towel around my body and sauntered out into the hallway like it was nothing. And now Peeta is staring at me, looking very uncomfortable, to say the least.

He shifts nervously in his seat on my couch and then averts his eyes.

“I…I need to…” I motion awkwardly to my bedroom door and quickly race to close myself inside of it.

Once I am alone and the door is locked, I dry myself off completely and dress in a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. I can’t believe Peeta just saw me practically naked. Now I’m so embarrassed that I’m not sure I can go back out there and face him again.

I really need to remember that I have a roommate now, and not just any roommate, but an attractive, male roommate. After a few minutes of mental preparation, I come out of my room to face Peeta again.

He is still sitting on the couch, watching some old movie when I sit next to him and give him an awkward half-smile. “Hey, umm…I’m sorry about that.”

He looks at me, dazed. “Huh? Sorry for what?”

What the hell? Did he suddenly just decide to get high while I was in the shower or something? He is acting so strange right now. “Sorry for coming out of the shower with just a towel on. I’m not used to having a roommate.”

His face turns an interesting shade of pink as he runs his fingers through his hair. “Jeez Katniss, don’t apologize! I was just taken aback, that’s all.”

I breathe a small sigh of relief, but I can still tell that something is bothering him. “Are you okay Peeta?”

He waves me off. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Do you mind of I go take a shower now?”

I nod and he takes off towards the bathroom.

As soon as I hear the water running, I find my cell phone and call Johanna. I need her advice on what to do with my skittish new roommate.

“What’s up?”

I sigh loudly into the phone. “It’s Peeta…”

She laughs at me. “Let me guess, he wants to fuck you and you want my opinion on whether or not you should go through with it.”

I make a sound of protest, but Jo interrupts me. “Save your breath Everdeen, I’ve seen this coming for quite some time now. So yeah, my opinion is definitely to go for it. Peeta is quite the attractive male specimen, and it’s been ages since you’ve gotten laid so…”

I cut her off before she can go any further. “Umm…that’s not why I was calling.”

Johanna sighs and curses under her breath. “What is it then?”

I tell her about his odd behavior after my shower and she bursts out into laughter when I am finished. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh God, you are! Are you really that naïve about men? I mean, I know you’ve had sex before, so don’t pretend like you don’t know…”

But I don’t. I don’t know what they hell she is talking about. “I really don’t know though…”

I can just imagine my friend doing a literally face-palm at my naivety, as she puts it. “Okay, listen to me because I’m only going to tell you this once more. Peeta has a major hard-on for you and I’m guessing that when he saw you, dripping wet, in only a towel, that figurative hard-on became a real one. So, is it really any wonder why he acted so odd when you came to sit next to him? And just the fact that he rushed to take a shower, which I’d bet a million dollars is a cold one, just proves my point further.”

 

I groan out loud and bury my face into my hands. How can I have been so stupid? I mean, I knew that he liked me; it shouldn’t have been too hard to figure out why he reacted they way he did over seeing me practically naked…

“What am I going to do?”

“Well, my suggestion would be to go jump him in the shower, but since I know you better than that, do what feels right to you. I mean, do you have feelings for him?”

I find myself nodding, even though I know Johanna can’t see me through the phone. My feelings for Peeta are complicated. I do like him, I like him a lot. I’ve come to care for him more and more each day. But I’m still afraid, I’m still scared that he will regain his memories one day and that I will lose him forever. “I do have feelings for him, but I’m scared.”

Jo’s voice takes on an entirely new tone, one that is actually serious. “I know you are, and that’s completely understandable, but you can’t let fear lead your life. For all you know, there is a good reason Peeta ended up under your care at the hospital. It almost seems like fate intervened to bring you two together. Give him a chance.”

“Maybe I will.”

 

We get off the phone a few moments later, just in time for Peeta to step out of the bathroom. Unlike me, he is fully clothed, and I find myself having very mixed emotions of relief and disappointment flow through me at the exact same time.

His hair is still wet, causing it to curl up and look unbelievably sexy. I really want to run my fingers through those damp curls.

Peeta sits on the couch next to me and smiles. “Hey, who were you talking to?”

“Johanna.”

“Oh, I don’t think she likes me very much.

I have to laugh at that, figuring she was the one who just told me I should give him a chance in the first place. “What makes you say that?”

He blinks at me. “Well, when I asked those questions about you back in the hospital, she did threaten to cut my balls off and feed them to me.” His eyes widen in horror and I can’t help but to laugh at him again.

“Oh Peeta, that’s just how Jo is. She does like you, in fact…” I let my sentence trail off, not quite sure I’m ready to tell him how I feel just yet.

He shifts closer to me on the sofa and I can smell the fresh, clean scent of him waving over my senses. I look up at his ocean blue eyes, noting that his pupils are dilated. I watch in seemingly slow motion as his hand makes its way up to my face and cradles my cheek gently in his palm. “What is it Katniss?”

I turn away from his touch and he drops his hand. Sadness fills his eyes and I instantly feel bad for doing that to him. “Jo thinks I should give you a chance.”

Confusion replaces the sadness in his azure orbs. “A chance? A chance for what?”

I’m not sure how to answer him, these kinds of things, matters of the heart, have never come easily to me. “She says you like me.”

“Of course I like you!”

I shake my head. “No, she says that you have umm…feelings for me.”

His cheeks turn pink and he can’t quite meet my gaze. “Well yeah, I thought you knew that.”

I nod and take a deep breath before speaking. “I wasn’t one hundred percent sure, but the thing is, I…” I try to choke out the words, but nothing comes out. I decide that if I can’t speak about my feelings, then I can at least show them.

I turn Peeta’s face towards mine again and look into his eyes before leaning in to kiss him.

Our lips meet and it’s fire. Pure heat floods throughout my veins as our lips move in tandem. A soft moan escapes from me and that’s all the encouragement Peeta needs to wrap his arms around me and pull me flush against his body.

His scent fills my nostrils and his warmth fills my soul. I reach up and tangle my fingers into his curls, tugging lightly and causing a groan to fall from his lips.

He maneuvers himself over me and presses my body into the couch. The weight of him above me only adds fuel to the fire already burning within me, so when he deepens the kiss, I eagerly open my mouth to let our tongues move together.

Hot and wet, we continue to kiss as I feel Peeta’s warm hand toying with the waistband of my tank top. He gently slides his fingers up towards my breasts and when he realizes that I am not wearing a bra, he begins to tease the soft skin right below my nipple.

Pleasure rushes through me at the feeling of his calloused finger against my sensitive skin and when he runs his hand across my nipple, I can’t help but to cry out.

When our kiss finally ends, we are both panting, searching for the breath that was stolen during our passionate kisses. 

Peeta is grinning at me and I feel myself returning his smile. I have to say, he is one amazing kisser.

He leans down to capture my lips again, but then the doorbell rings, jarring us out of our lust-induced haze and back to reality.

I’m not expecting any visitors, so the person at my door better needs to have a damn good reason for interrupting us.


	11. Outtake 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I heard a lot of good things about the first outtake, so here is another one! It takes place right after the first one.

He made his way from the deserted side road where his car still sat and headed towards the highway. It was nearing five in the morning by the time he finally reached the normally busy highway, but at this time of day, it was mostly just truckers trying to make it through to their next stop, who were occupying the road.

He stuck his thumb out, hitchhiker style, showing that he wished to travel east. He desperately hoped to be picked up by somebody who wouldn’t mind a lone male companion who was just trying to run away as far as he could get. He also hoped that he wouldn’t get caught with some crazy person who would try to chop him into bits, he happened to like his body in one piece, thank you very much.

Watching the cars and trucks roar past him at high speeds wasn’t enough for him to come close to drifting off, still standing on the side of the road.

Eventually, a semi-truck pulled to the side and he knew he had his chance. He ran up to the window and a man who looked like he was only a few years olderr than he was, stared down at him.

“Howdy there! Lookin’ for a ride?”

He looked up at the trucker nervously. The man looked friendly and harmless enough, and he really needed to get the hell away as fast as possible. “Yes, I do need a ride, can you help me out?”

The trucker smiled back at him. “Sure thing! Hop right in!”

So he did, and once he was settled, the trucker decided it was time for twenty questions. “What’s your name?”

He didn’t want to reveal his real name to anyone, just in case his plan didn’t work out, so he quickly thought of an alternate name to use on his journey. “My name is Evan.”  
The trucker nodded, never taking his eyes off of the road in front of him. “I’m Thom, nice to meet you. Can I ask why you are hitchhiking in the first place?”

Damn it! He should have known that questions like that would arise. “I’m trying to get away from a bad situation in my life right now. I promise that I’m not a criminal or anything, I just don’t know what else to do besides try to get as far away as possible and hope she never finds me.”

Thom paused, most likely in shock from the other man’s admission. He was shocked himself that he revealed that much information, he should have just lied.

“Sounds like a complicated situation there. Who is the ‘she’ you are referring to anyway? Wife? Lover?”

No, he cannot tell this man anything else, it could ruin everything. “I’d rather not discuss it.”

Thom respected his wishes and the two of them rode on in silence.

The trucker was able to take him a good two hundred miles away before he arrived at his stop.

He quickly thanked Thom for the ride and offered him a little bit of money, but he refused, telling him to take care out there.

 

Stopping for a day in the town, he quickly made his way over to a small diner for some food.

The waitress was a pretty girl named Bristel, and she brought him out a huge stack of pancakes with a side of bacon.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before. Are you a truck driver?”

He shook his head as he poured syrup over the fluffy hotcakes. “No, just a guy trying to get away from it all.”

Bristel smiled at him and refilled his coffee. “My girlfriend and I are trying to do the same thing. We are planning on taking a road trip out east.”

He was a bit surprised to learn that she was a lesbian, not that he cared in the least, he supported same-sex relationships. “What’s your girlfriend’s name?”

Bristel blushed. “Her name is Leevy. Do you need a ride? I mean, I can only take you as far as St.Louis, and I’d have to ask Leevy if it would be okay, but you look like a nice guy and I wouldn’t mind helping you to get out of this town.”

He was shocked by the kindness of the young waitress. She didn’t even know him and she was offering to take him with her and her girlfriend all the way to St. Louis. 

Before she could change her mind, he took her up on her offer and gave her his fake name. Once everything was cleared with Leevy, he found a local motel to stay the night in before the three of them would leave the next morning.

That night, he pulled the scratchy blanket around him and tried to think about what his new life would be like. He imagined a brand new job and meeting a beautiful girl who would accept him for who he was and never want to change him. He imagined that he would find true love with her, and that he could forget everything bad that had ever happened to him in the past.

Now if only he knew how he was going to accomplish such things.


	12. Flowers

**Peeta’s POV:**

I am going to murder whoever is at the door.  I really am.  I was finally getting somewhere with Katniss.  I got to taste her lips, to run my hands over the curves of her body, to hear her gasp when I ran my fingers over her nipples. 

 

Now I’m left on the couch with a raging hard-on that I have to cover with a throw pillow.

 

Katniss answers the door, and a blonde young woman enters.

 

“Prim, what are you doing here?  It’s kinda late for a visit…”

 

Oh, so this is Katniss’ sister, Prim.  She is petite with bright blonde hair and similar facial features as her sister.

 

“Then what is _he_ doing here?”  She points indignantly at me.

 

Katniss frowns at her sister.  “ _He_ is not a visitor, he is my roommate.”

 

I’m happy that Katniss stood up for me, but I don’t want to cause any issues between the two sisters.

 

I see Prim’s eyes widen in surprise.  “Your new roommate is a _guy_?”

 

Katniss scowls at her.  “As you can see, yes, he is a guy.”

 

The blonde girl ignores her sister and comes over, plopping herself down next to me.  “So you’re the roommate.  What’s your name anyway?”

 

I run my hand through my hair and try to subtly adjust myself.  “I’m Peeta.”

 

“Peeta?”  Her nose wrinkles in disgust.  “What kind of name is that?”

 

Katniss sits on the other side of her sister and jabs her angrily in the shoulder.

 

“Ow!  What was that for?”

 

“Be respectful of my roommate please.”

 

Prim squints her eyes at me and I can tell that she is mentally sizing me up.  “Hmm…he’s cute enough I guess.”

 

I shake my head and sigh.  “Hello?  I’m sitting right here!”

 

She ignores me and turns back to her sister.  “Where did you find him at?”

 

“Jeez Prim!  Can you be any ruder?  I didn’t ‘find’ him anywhere, he found me.”

 

Katniss tells the story of how I came to the hospital and how my memories have yet to return.

 

“Oh my God, it’s like a soap opera!”

 

I have to stifle a laugh at that.  My life is like one of those bad soap operas, the ones with the terrible acting. 

 

We eventually find out that Prim just wanted to see how her sister was doing, and that she didn’t really need anything.  Once she has left, I can breathe a sigh of relief.

 

Katniss shuts the door and shakes her head.  “I’m sorry about that.  When I saw it was my sister, I thought something was wrong.  She’s kind of blunt sometimes, as you can tell.  She doesn’t mean anything bad by it.”

 

“I figured as much.”

 

She nods at me and then shuffles her feet nervously.  I can tell that she is probably thinking about what just happened before her sister arrived.  “Umm…it is getting kinda late and I have work in the morning.”

 

Shit, there goes that.  It seems as if she’s decided that she doesn’t want to take things any further.  Maybe I crossed the line when I felt her up…

 

“Yeah, I guess I’ll head off to bed as well.”

 

 

Sleep does not come easily for me.  I toss and turn trying to get comfortable in the small, lumpy bed, and even when I do, I’m still plagued by my situation with Katniss. 

 

I really hope I haven’t scared her off.  Even though she was the one who initiated the kiss, I just couldn’t help myself by taking it further.  Kissing her was amazing, beyond amazing.  It made me feel alive again and the passion and desire between the two of us seemed to radiate in waves tumbling over me again and again.

 

She seemed to be enjoying what I was doing to her, but maybe I misinterpreted things.  I just hope I didn’t ruin things with her.

 

 

I wake up around eight the next morning, but Katniss has already left for work.  I find a note next to a brass key sitting on the kitchen counter.

 

_Hey Peeta,_

_Here is the spare key to the apartment.  If you need to leave for any reason, please lock up first.  I should be home by four._

_-Katniss_

I pick up the key, the cool metal sliding against my palm as I slip it into my pocket.  Since she was nice enough to lend me the spare, I decide to go out for a little while.

 

There are several stores around Katniss’ apartment, and after window shopping through several of them, I finally go inside of a small florist shop about a block away.

 

A thousand different scents fill my nose the moment I step through the door.  Beautiful bouquets and arrangements fill every available space inside the small store and I struggle to look over them to find a salesperson.

 

Seeing no one in the immediate vicinity, I go to inspect some of the arrangements further, hoping to find one that Katniss might like.

 

I’m testing the soft, velvety petals of a yellow flower when a lady comes up behind me, nearly causing me to jump out of my skin.

 

“May I help you?”

 

I turn and see an elderly woman, small, but lively with long gray hair.  She is smiling and pointing to the flowers I was just checking out.

 

“Oh, I’m looking to buy some floors for this girl.”

 

“Ah!  Well, unless you are only looking for friendship, I wouldn’t go for yellow…”

 

I quickly place the yellow flower back into the vase.  “Umm…”

 

The lady laughs.  “Why don’t you tell me about this girl and your relationship with her and I’ll see what I can do for you.”

 

“I’ve known her for a few weeks and she is the most amazing girl.  There is just something special about her and I want to show her how much I care.”

 

The old woman seems to consider my words for a few moments before shuffling between the aisles and plucking several flowers.  “I have something perfect for you.”

 

 

I end up leaving the florist shop with a beautiful bouquet of carnations.  Red, pink, and white flowers are beautifully put together in an arrangement that I hope will steal Katniss’ heart.

 

When I get back to the apartment, I set the flowers in the vase provided and place them in the center of the coffee table.  I write a small note to go with them.

 

_Katniss,_

_I’m sorry if my actions have made you uncomfortable in any way.  I care for you a lot and I hope you can forgive me._

_Yours,_

_Peeta_

 

Now I can only wait for her to return…

 

 

At exactly ten minutes after four, I hear the door open, a few seconds later…  “Peeta!”

 

I race into the living room, hoping that she likes the flowers and has accepted my apology.

 

When I see her, she has the note in her hands and a smile on her face.  I am instantly elated to see that she is happy.

 

“Do you like the flowers?”

 

She nods.  “I love them!  I don’t understand why you are apologizing though.”

 

I bite my lower lip and pause to gather myself before speaking.  “I thought you were upset with me, that maybe I was moving too fast for you.”

 

The smile is back on her face.  “No, not at all.  I mean, I was the one who initiated the first kiss!”  She walks over to me, still in her work scrubs and places her hands in mine.  “I enjoyed everything we did, _everything_.  And these flowers…Peeta, you are so sweet!”

 

My heart thuds loudly in my chest.  She enjoyed it.  She enjoyed kissing me and she enjoyed my touch.  I can’t help but to pull her flush against my body and tilt her head up to look into her eyes.

 

The desire that I feel welling up inside, is reflected back at me in her beautiful gray eyes.  “Katniss…”

 

“Shut up Peeta.”

 

“But…”

 

“Just kiss me, and don’t you dare stop.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look for the last outtake next week and a surprise in the next chapter!


	13. Outtake 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final part of the outtakes.

He woke up bright and early the next morning to leave with Bristel and Leevy.  Leevy’s 2001 Chevy Impala wasn’t exactly in the best of conditions, but both girls assured him that it would hold up during the trip.

 

He enjoyed his time with the girls.  They were fun and talkative, and while he didn’t have much to offer up about himself, it definitely made the long ride a lot easier on him.

 

He had never been this far east before.  The west coast was all he really knew, but he was anxious to see the rest of the country.  He was anxious to get as far away from his hometown as possible.

 

He watched the landscape go by as he sat in the backseat of the Impala.  He desperately wanted to be able to start over; to get pleasure out of life once again.  He still wasn’t sure exactly where he wanted to end up, or what he was going to do once he was there, but taking it one day at a time seemed to be working out for him thus far.

 

When the three of them arrived in St. Louis, he said goodbye to the two young women who were nice enough to bring him along.

 

“Have fun girls and thanks again!”

 

They hugged him.  “Good luck!”

 

Yeah, he was definitely going to need a lot of that.

 

After a quick stop for some food, he found himself alongside the nearest interstate heading east.  Hitchhiking was probably not the safest way to travel cross country, but it certainly was the cheapest.

 

After about fifteen minutes, a tractor trailer truck slowed to a stop next to him.  A middle-aged man jumped out and came around to him.

 

“Hitchhiking isn’t safe anymore boy.”

 

He shrugged.  “Yeah, but anything else is too expensive.  _Not to mention risky._

 

The trucker sighed and pulled off his hat, wiping the sweat from his balding head.  “Okay, you look harmless enough.  Where are you heading?”

 

He shrugged again.  “Not exactly sure.  Just heading east for now.”

 

“Alright boy, I can take you as far as Columbus, Ohio.  That work for you?”

 

“Yes.”  He was thankful that this man seemed normal enough, and he hoped that he would make a decent traveling companion all the way to Columbus.

 

“I’m Bobby Biggs, but everyone calls me Boggs.”  Boggs extended his hand out for a handshake

 

“I’m Pe-, I mean, Evan.”  Shit, he almost forgot to give his fake name!  That could have turned out bad.

 

Boggs eyed him warily for a moment before letting him in the truck with him.

 

They rode in silence for the most part, only talking when it came to rest stops and where to stop for food.

 

When they finally reached Columbus, he wasn’t that sad to say goodbye to Boggs.  The man did not seem to care for him that much, and the feeling was mutual on his own part.

 

He briefly considered staying in Columbus.  It was very far from his hometown, and although it wasn’t a huge city, he believed it would suffice for him to be able to ‘get lost’ in.

 

He took some time to wander the city, noting which places needed more employees and which apartments were up for rent.  It wasn’t very promising. 

 

Finally he came along to a small bakery with a ‘Help Wanted’ sign in its window.  He quickly straightened out his shirt and walked in.

 

The smell of pastries baking and of the sweet sugary cupcakes for sale had his mouth watering, but he wasn’t there to buy.

 

He found an older man working at the register and asked about the sign.  “I see that you need help here at the bakery.”

 

The man looked shocked and then craned his head over to see the sign in the window.  “Shit!  I forgot to take the sign down!  Sorry kid, the job has been filled.  Can I interest you in a free pastry for your trouble?”

 

He was kind of hungry so he accepted a cheese Danish and sat at one of the small tables while the man ripped down the sign still in his window.

 

A man who looked like he was maybe ten years older than he was flicked his gaze over and made eye contact.  “No use looking for a job around here.”

He cocked his head to the side, regarding the man at the table next to him.  “Huh?”

 

The man got up and sat across from him.  “My name is Mitchell.”

 

“I’m Evan.”  Damn, he would never really get used to using that name.

 

“I’m on a business trip right now, but trust me when I say that it’s difficult to get a good job around here.  I’m from the Pittsburgh area, trying to start a new business myself.  What kind of skills do you have?”

 

He told Mitchell how he had a business degree and also loads of experience with baking. 

 

“Hmm...not sure what I can do about the ‘baking’ thing, but I could use someone with a business degree on my side.  How do you feel about relocating to Pittsburgh?”

 

He had no thoughts about Pittsburgh one way or another.  “I…I don’t have a car or any real belongings…”

 

Mitchell blinked at him a few times, obviously confused.  “Why not?”

 

Damn…that question again.  “I fell on hard times and I’m trying to make a new life for myself.”

 

That answer seemed to satisfy Mitchell.  He nodded his head in agreement.  “Yeah, times are tough for everyone.  How about I just take you with me?  I drove out here for my business trip, but I don’t mind taking you with me to Pittsburgh.”

 

He was lucky, that’s all there is to it.  He managed to get himself from the west coast all the way to almost the east coast without taking a plane, train, or bus.

 

So it was set.  The very next day he was on his way to Pittsburgh with Mitchell.

 

“So Evan, tell me a little bit about yourself.”

 

_Damn it!  Time for some half-truths and whole lies._

 

“Not much to tell.  I work in business and just recently lost my job so I’m looking to start fresh.  How about you?”

 

He figured that by asking Mitchell about his life, he would avert any more questions about his own.

 

He was right.  Once Mitchell got to talking about his family and his job, there was really no stopping him.

 

Mitchell chatted on and on, and he only grew more excited as the signs for Pittsburgh began to pop up.

 

That’s when the rain started.  It began as just a normal rain shower, but quickly morphed into a dangerous icy rain/wintry mix.

 

“Shit, I better slow down.”  Mitchell leaned forward to see better out of the windshield.

 

He could tell that the roads were slick underneath the tires of Mitchell’s sedan.  A few cars began to skid across the road in front of them.

 

He was beginning to get nervous.  Having never driven on an icy road before, he didn’t even know how to help the other man out.

 

Mitchell slowed the car even more, but it didn’t matter.  Neither of them saw the large truck until it was too late.

 

Glass shattered and metal bent as the two vehicles collided. 

 

Everything went black.


	14. Shock

**Katniss’ POV:**

Peeta’s lips descend down to mine and I am instantly swept into the heat of passion.  The moment I saw the flowers and note that he left for me, I was smitten; a total goner.  And now, with his lips caressing mine gently and his arms holding me close, I know that trusting him will be the right decision.

 

I feel his tongue flick against the seam of my lips and I eagerly part them for him.  He sweeps his tongue against mine and it feels so amazing that I can’t help but to moan softly into his mouth.

 

The once gentle kiss quickly morphs into a passionate frenzy of lips sucking and tongues tasting one another, rapidly progressing into something more… _primal_.

 

Peeta practically growls as I feel him push me against the wall.  The jarring sensation of the somewhat rough motion spurs me on.  I fist my fingers into his shirt and tug it up so I can run my hands over the hard muscles of his abdomen. 

 

I can feel his muscles flutter under my touch and it makes me want to touch more of him, to feel his heated skin scorching against my own.

 

I break off our kiss and tear his shirt up over his head.  Peeta is panting, and the look in his eyes screams of lust.

 

As soon as I cast his shirt onto the floor, Peeta’s lips are back on mine, his tongue probing and wrestling with mine.

 

Half of my mind is ringing a thousand warning bells.  That half tells me to be realistic about this; that Peeta might remember his life and have to leave forever.  It tells me not to let a little thing like lust take control.  The other half of my mind is screaming for me to continue; to trust Peeta and wherever this road may lead us to.  It says that at a chance at love is always worth the risk.

 

Is that what I feel for him?  Like I could possibly fall in love with him?

 

I’m yanked from my thoughts when Peeta’s kisses trail down the sensitive skin of my neck.  The tingles of pleasure he is creating sharpen when he bites down gently and then soothes the pain away with his tongue. 

 

I decide right then and there to go for it.

 

I break myself off from him, and by the look on his face, I can tell he thinks that he has gone too far.  “Katniss, I-“

 

I press my fingers to his lips to silence him and then take his hand and lead him back to my bedroom.

 

He stops abruptly at the door.  “Are you sure?”  His bright blue eyes betray his nervousness and it’s just so adorable that I have to stifle giggling at him.

 

I tug impatiently on his hand.  “Yes, that is, if _you_ want to.”

 

His lips curve up into a smile and he follows me into my room.  “Oh yes, I definitely want to.”

 

I pull him onto the bed and he hovers over me before lightly resting his weight of his body on mine.  I moan at the feeling of him pressed up against me like this and I can feel his erection poking my thigh, eager to be released.

 

Peeta gives me a light kiss before he proceeds to undress me.  His earlier lust seems to return as he reveals more and more of my skin.  The darkened gaze is back in his eyes and when I am finally naked, he licks his lips.

 

“So beautiful, I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

 

I meet his gaze.  “It is.”

 

His lips find their way back to mine briefly, and then they are everywhere; on my neck, my breasts, my stomach, and finally my center.

 

Peeta laps at my sensitive flesh, causing me to buck and moan at his ministrations.  It has been so long, so very long since the last time I’ve had a man go down on me, and oh how I’ve missed it. 

 

I get so lost in the haze of my pleasure that when Peeta changes tactics and starts sucking on my clit, I actually yelp out loud.

He doesn’t stop though, his tongue flicks and his lips suck, and when he thrusts his fingers inside of me, I lose it.  Waves of white hot bliss overcome me and Peeta’s name escapes my mouth in a breathy moan.

 

He hovers over me again and smiles before capturing my lips in a sweet kiss.  I kiss him back for a moment before breaking it off.  “Why are your pants still on?”

 

Peeta chuckles and the two of us make quick work of his pants and boxers.  I immediately take him into my hand, gently pumping his erection to make sure that he is more than ready.

 

He groans into my shoulder, but then stops me.  “I…I just want to be inside you.  Do you have any condoms?”

 

I rustle my memory for the last time I actually bought condoms.  I think there might be a few still left so I yank open the drawer on my nightstand and rifle through the junk inside of it.

 

My fingers close around a foil packet and I sigh in relief and hold it up in triumph.  “Got one!”

 

Peeta wastes no time tearing it open and sliding it on.  “Ready?”

 

A wave of anxiety threatens to pull me under, but I don’t let it get the best of me.  I want him, and I want him now.  “Yes.”

 

He slides into me a moment later, a groan escaping his lips.  I feel incredibly full as it has been quite some time since the last time I’ve had sex and Peeta is quite a bit larger than my last partner.

 

He must notice the slight discomfort on my face, because he slows his thrusts and brushes some of my sweaty hair away from my face.  “Are you okay?”

 

I give him a small smile.  I am becoming more accustomed to the feeling as we speak and I definitely don’t want him to stop.  “Yeah, it’s just been a while.”

 

He nods.  “I honestly can’t remember the last time I had sex.”

 

Peeta smirks and I realize that he really _doesn’t_ remember.  “Well, it seems like you at least remember what to do.”

 

He laughs, causing his eyes to sparkle.  “I guess so.”

 

Peeta gives a harder thrust and after that, there is no more talking.  The discomfort fades, and is quickly replaced by pleasure, which intensifies as he snakes his hand down and circles my clit in time with his thrusts.  I feel another orgasm building inside of me, and my body begins to shake slightly in anticipation.  This seems to make Peeta’s thrusts even faster and before I know it, I’m falling over the edge once again.

 

Peeta pumps into me a few more times before stiffening and joining me in orgasmic bliss.

 

A few moments later, after we have both cleaned up, Peeta joins me on the bed again, kissing my cheek before settling down next to me.  “Best sex of my life,” he says.

 

I snort at him.  “Yeah, but it’s the only sex you _remember_.”

 

He shrugs.  “I don’t think anything could beat that.”

 

I swat him playfully.

 

 

I wake up the next morning when I hear Peeta get out of bed.  “Where are you going?”

 

He smiles and leans down to place a kiss on my forehead.  “Shower.”

 

I yawn and then give him a nod, still too tired to follow him for a quick romp under the steamy spray of my shower.

 

Instead, I click on the TV and find the news, half-heartedly watching for anything interesting to pop up.

 

A few minutes later, after the local weather has been forecasted, the national news segment begins.

 

“And now we head over to Los Angeles with reporter Caesar Flickerman.”

 

The screen flashes over to a strange looking man with a ponytail.  A blonde woman who looks like she is in her fifties in standing beside him and a younger blonde woman stands slightly behind them.

 

“Hello, for today’s national news segment I’m interviewing the mother of a local missing man.”

 

This piques my interest so I turn up the volume and sit up against the headboard of my bed.

 

“Here with me is Andrea Mellark, the wife of the owner of Mellark Bakery.  Andrea, can you tell me what happened to your son?”

 

The woman takes the microphone from Caesar and wipes her face like she was crying, which I’m not entirely sure she was.  “My boy disappeared about a month ago.  I just woke up one morning and he…he was gone.”

Caesar reclaims the microphone and gives her a sympathetic look.  “Have the police had any leads on where your son could be?”

 

She shakes her head and some of her blonde curls fall into her face.  “Not really.  They found his car about fifty miles away.  His wallet and ID were in it, but no money.  They think he could have been robbed.”

 

The reporter nods sadly.  “That sounds very upsetting.  Is there anything you would like to say to your son?  Just in case he is listening?”

 

“Yes, I just want him to know that if he is out there somewhere and able to contact me, for him to please do so.  We all miss you and are so worried about you, please come home.”

 

I study the face of this woman and I just don’t know if I believe the words coming out of her mouth.  It’s like she is trying to be sincere, but at the same time is hiding something as well.

 

Caesar gives the woman a sympathetic look.  “I think I speak for everyone when I say that we all wish you the best and hope you find your son.”  He turns to the younger woman, who looks to be close to my age next.  “What’s your name?  And how do you know the missing man?”

 

The second woman bites her lip and then speaks.  “My name is Delly Cartwright and I am his fiancée.”  She breaks down into sobs.   “I…I just miss him so much!  Please come home baby!”

 

Caesar gives the camera one last solemn look.  “Well, as you can see, the missing man has some very concerned friends and family members still looking for him.  Let’s show his picture and stats for the viewers back at home.”

 

The screen flashes to a picture of a young man and my heart stops.  Because staring back at me is none other than Peeta.  His hair is shorter in the picture, but it is definitely him, I would recognize that handsome face anywhere.

 

“The missing man’s name is Peeta Mellark.  He is twenty-six years old, with blond hair and blue eyes.  He is of medium build and is five feet, ten inches tall.  He was last seen about a month ago in Los Angeles, California.  If you have any information regarding this man please call the number on your screen.”

 

My mouth gapes open and my breath seizes in my throat.  _Peeta_ is Peeta Mellark and he is engaged.  I slept with an engaged man. 

 

My mind is still reeling from this new information when I hear an odd sound.  I whip around and see Peeta staring at the television screen.  He is as white as a ghost.


	15. An Unexpected Turn

**Peeta’s POV:**

I think my heart stops beating when I see my face on the TV.  It can’t be, but somehow it is.  I’m from Los Angeles, California.  I’m engaged to be married.  My family is looking for me.  All of these thoughts run rampant through my mind as I stand in the doorway of Katniss’ bedroom.

 

Oh God, _Katniss_.  I just had sex with her last night, the girl of my dreams, and now I find out that I am engaged.  And not only am I engaged, but I’m engaged to a girl that seems nothing like Katniss.

 

I’m so out of sorts that Katniss has to literally shake me to get me out of my stupor.  “Peeta, Peeta!”

 

“What?”

 

Her face is pale and her hair is sticking up from sleep.  “It’s you!”

 

I shake my head slowly.  “I know, but it’s just so weird.  I guess I should call the authorities and let them know that I am alive.”

 

Katniss nods, looking crestfallen.  “I’m happy for you…”

 

Tears are forming in her eyes and I take my hand and slowly caress her cheek.  “This isn’t what I wanted.  I would have been perfectly happy out here with my new life…with _you_.”

 

It’s the truth too.  As much as I wished for my memories to return, I’d much rather stay here with Katniss than go back to California to a family and a fiancée that I can’t remember.  Damn it!  I was falling in love with Katniss too!  And after the events of last night and her reaction to the newscast, I’d say that there is a good chance that she had been developing feelings for me as well.

 

Katniss drops her gaze to the floor.  “You can’t stay here.  You have to call your family and let them know you are okay.  You have an obligation to return to your fiancée.”

 

Those are not the words I want to hear out of her mouth.  I want her to tell me to stay, to tell me that she wants me in her life and that she is falling in love with me too.  I feel my heart breaking into thousands of pieces.  “I don’t even know her!”

 

Katniss takes a step away from me.  “You do know her, you just don’t _remember_ her.”

 

“Same thing.”  I try to take her into my arms, to hold her both for her comfort as well as my own, but she turns away.

 

“Stop it Peeta.  I can’t do this.  I can’t be the other woman.  Call the authorities and get your old life back.”

 

Her words stomp onto my already shattered heart and grind it into the floor.  “Katniss…please.”

 

“No, I can’t be around you right now.  Just call the authorities, I’m getting changed and going out for a while.”

 

I try again to embrace her, but she shoves me away and slams the door in my face.

 

I get the phone number off the internet and as soon as Katniss leaves, I dial the number.  A gruff sounding man answers.  “Hello, may I help you?”

 

“Hi, my name is Peeta…Peeta Mellark.”

 

 

The authorities were in total shock when I told them my story, that I am effectively alive and well, but with no memories.  They tell me that they will make the first call to my family and explain the situation and then they will have my family call me to arrange my transportation back home.

 

Concerned with my amnesia and also my leg, which is still healing, I call Dr. Aurelius to fill him in on what just happened.

 

He seems both happy for me and concerned at the same time.  “I want you to go for a few days just as a trial run to see how it goes.  You are not fully healed yet and I can’t have you moving back out there until you are.  Also, I’m worried that you will regain some of your memories out there, both good and bad, and that it may be traumatic for you.  I’m going to ask Katniss to accompany you.”

 

I suck in a breath of air.  “I’m not sure she will agree.”

 

“She will agree when I tell her how much extra money she will be making by coming with you.  She needs it to help her sister pay for school.”

 

As soon as I hang up from my conversation with the doctor, my phone rings.  I hastily pick it up.  “Hello?”

 

“Peeta?”  A slightly gruff, but undoubtedly female voice answers.

 

“Yeah?  Who’s this?”

 

“Oh my poor baby!  It’s your mother!  Don’t you recognize your own mother’s voice?”

 

Didn’t the authorities call her and explain that I have amnesia?  “I’m sorry.  Didn’t they tell you that I have amnesia?  I can’t remember anything before waking up in the hospital.”

 

There is a pause before my mother answers.  “You can’t remember _anything_?  Not even your own family?”

 

I sigh loudly.  “Nothing.”

 

“Well that’s… _interesting_.”  Something in her tone of voice gives me the chills, like she has some sinister plan or something else up her sleeve.  But that’s ridiculous, she’s my _mother_.

 

“The doctor said I can come visit for a few days, but then I need to come back to complete my treatment.  A nurse will be accompanying me home.”

 

“That’s insane!  You should be able to come home to stay!  Your home is here, not in the middle of nowhere!”

 

She certainly seems like a woman that shouldn’t be trifled with, kinda loud too.  “Look, I’m sorry, but he insists that I finish my treatment out here, then I’m sure I can come back home.  I just need time.”

 

She finally agrees and we make plans for me to come visit in a few days.

 

 

Katniss is almost robotic when I see her next.  She has already talked to Dr. Aurelius and knows she will be coming with me to LA, but she will barely speak to me now.  She just nods or shakes her head, never giving me a clear answer.

 

“Katniss, please talk to me.”

 

She shakes her head.

 

“Come on please?  I never wanted this to happen.  I did want to regain my memories someday, but I never thought this would happen.  I certainly didn’t think I was engaged.”

 

She flinches at my words.  “Peeta, just stop okay?  I’m in shock about this whole thing right now.  And now I have to go meet your family and your _fiancée_ and all I will be thinking about is how I slept with you, and she is none the wiser.  Unless you plan on telling her that is.”

 

I shake my head and cough awkwardly.  “Umm no, definitely not.  It’s not like I was purposely cheating on her or anything, I didn’t even know she existed.”

 

“Look, I’m obviously going to go with you, but we need to pretend like nothing ever happened between us, like our relationship is purely professional.  And that’s all it will ever be now.”

 

I nod in agreement, but inside I’m crying a thousand tears, my heart crushed in sadness.  My life has turned upside down again, and I don’t know how to make things right.


	16. Meet the Mellarks

**  
**

**Katniss’ POV:**

I’m on the plane on my way to Los Angeles.  Peeta is sitting next to me, gripping the arm rest as if it is his only lifeline.  I’m not sure if he has a fear of flying, or is just nervous to meet his family, maybe it’s both.  All I know is that I’ve never been so confused in my entire life.  I was falling in love with him, and now I have to let him go.  I have to let him go back to his old life, almost three thousand miles away, with his family and his fiancée.  His fucking fiancée!  He doesn’t even remember her, and I’ve never met her, but I hate her with every fiber of my being right now.

 

The majority of the plane ride has been silent thus far.  I just don’t know what to say to Peeta anymore.  I _want_ to tell him that I was falling in love him, to forget his family and fiancée and stay with me, but that would be selfish.  I want to tell him that the night we slept together was amazing and that I would do anything to feel his lips against mine and his body intertwined with my own.  But I say none of these things, because I can’t.

 

The pilot soon announces our descent and I notice Peeta’s grip tighten even further on the arm rest.  “Nervous?”

 

His blue eyes flicker to my own.  “Very much so.  Look Katniss, I know this isn’t exactly ideal for you, but I just want to thank you for coming with me.”

 

I sigh, but can seem to stop myself from breaking eye contact.  “You’re welcome.”

 

We are silent as the plane lands and we make our way to where the Mellark family will be meeting us. 

 

The first thing I see when I round the corner is a huge banner saying, “Welcome home Peeta!”  The banner is held up by two young men who look like slightly older versions of Peeta, his brothers I guess.

 

To the side of the banner, I recognize Peeta’s mother and his fiancée.  A middle aged man stands with them.  His hair is graying, but he is definitely Peeta’s father.

 

I feel a little bit left out of this brigade of blondes and it is just another reminder that I don’t belong here with this happy family.

 

As soon as they see Peeta, they all rush over to him.  He immediately reels back.

 

I step in between them.  “He is still in a somewhat fragile state.  Don’t crowd him.”

 

Peeta’s mother steps forward, her blue eyes practically spitting venom at me.  “And who are you?”

 

I take a deep breath to keep myself from punching this stupid woman.  She screams ‘high maintenance bitch,’ especially the way she is dressed and her up-turned nose.  “My name is Katniss Everdeen.  I am Peeta’s nurse.”

 

She flicks me another angry glare.  “Oh, so _you’re_ the one they sent over with my son.”  She says nothing else to me; just heads back over to Peeta.

 

“My baby boy!  You don’t know how happy I am to see you!”  She wraps him in her arms and he stiffens noticeably. 

 

“Hi mom.”  He pats her back half-heartedly.

 

I meet Peeta’s brothers Justin and Tim and his father Adam.  They all seem nice enough, and not fake like his mother.

 

Peeta’s fiancée Delly comes up last.  She looks at Peeta for a moment, sizing him up as if she expects him to be missing a body part or something.

 

“Peeta?”  Her voice is small and meek, like a kitten mewing.

 

He nods, but doesn’t move towards her.  “Yeah, it’s me.”

 

Suddenly, reporters push their way through the onlookers and right into our faces.

 

“Peeta!  Peeta!  What’s it like to meet your family all over again?”

 

“Mr.and Mrs. Mellark!  How is it to have your son home again?”

 

“Delly!  How happy are you that your fiancé is back?”

 

Peeta ignores the reporters and just stands there in shock at the chaos around him.  Mrs. Mellark grabs one of the reporter’s microphones and goes on and on about how happy she is that her son is home.  She still sounds extremely fake to me.  It’s just something about her tone of voice that makes me cringe.

 

Delly turns to one of the reporters and gives them a wide grin.  “I’m so happy my baby has come back to me!  It’s all that I have been thinking about since he went missing.”

 

“Go on girl!  Give him a kiss!”

 

I get shoved further to the side as the reporters gather around Delly and Peeta.  Peeta’s face has gone white and I can tell that he is insanely uncomfortable right now.  However, that doesn’t stop Delly from pulling Peeta towards her and planting a kiss on his lips.

 

I have to turn away at the sight of it.  It makes me heart break even more to see them in a lip-lock, even if Peeta doesn’t look like he wants to reciprocate.

 

________________________________________________________________________

 

The ride back to Peeta’s parents’ house is awkward, but otherwise uneventful.  Everyone asked Peeta a million questions, most of which he didn’t know how to answer.  Several times I had to remind his family and Delly that he had amnesia and doesn’t remember anything before his accident.  That didn’t stop Delly from laying her hand across Peeta’s thigh for the entire ride though.

 

The Mellarks have agreed to let me stay with them during our trip.  Apparently Peeta was still living with his parents when he disappeared.  He was trying to save for his own place to share with Delly once they were married.  The last thing that I want to do is stay with the ‘happy family,’ but I don’t really have enough money for a hotel in the LA area, and Peeta needs me as his nurse right now.

 

The Mellarks’ house is a large Spanish-style stucco, with a beautiful landscaping around it.  Clearly the Mellarks are not hurting for money.

 

It isn’t much longer until we are all gathered around the dining room table eating pizza.  Peeta shifts in his seat and every time Delly gets closer to him, he shifts subtly more towards me.

 

Mr. Mellark or Adam, as he wishes to be called, tries to include me in the conversation.  “So Katniss, tell me about yourself.”

 

I chew on my bottom lip nervously.  This isn’t about me, it’s about Peeta.  “Umm, I’m a nurse at Panem Hospital.  I have a younger sister who is in medical school and I’m trying my best to help her get through it.”

 

“So you were Peeta’s nurse in the hospital?”

 

Peeta’s middle brother, Justin, pipes up next, talking around a mouthful of cheese and pepperoni. 

 

“Yeah, I just happened to be stationed in the Emergency Room the night that he came in and I was the first person he saw when he woke up.”

 

Justin stifles a laugh.  “That’s kinda cute, like out of a soap opera or something.”

 

I feel my face flush, but he isn’t done just yet.

 

“Now, what would have been even more interesting is if Peeta and Katniss would have fallen in love.  That would have ‘daytime Emmy’ written all over it!”

 

I blush even harder, wishing that my chair would just swallow me whole.  Everyone at the table is silent, except for Justin, who is in a fit of hysterical laughter.  Once he is able to overcome it, he winks at me from across the table.

 

It’s almost like he _knows_ what happened, but there is no way that is possible.

 

 

I’ll be staying in Tim’s old room during my time with Peeta and his family.  It’s still a bit masculine, with blue walls and a navy and cream colored bedspread, but I’m not that picky when it comes to a free room. 

 

I gather up a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt to sleep in and head off to the bathroom down the hall.  The bathroom is quite large, with silver fixtures and a separate shower and tub.  I decide on just a quick shower for the night, I’m already exhausted from the flight as it is.

 

The events of the last few days come into play as I step into the steamy shower.  The bliss of being with Peeta, the pain of having to let him go, and the torture of seeing him with another woman overtakes my mind.  Several tears burn beneath my eyes and then fall down my face, becoming intermingled with the droplets of water from the shower.

 

How could I have been stupid enough to fall for a man with amnesia?  There is a good reason why I always try to keep my distance from all but a few close friends and family, why did I have to stray from that?  I need to get back to my normal, no-nonsense self, the strong woman who doesn’t need a man in her life, the woman who is perfectly content on her own.

 

When I have finished washing myself and wallowing in my misery I grab a fluffy towel from the rack beside the shower and wrap myself in its warmth.

 

I hear a sharp knock on the door to the bathroom causing me to jump in surprise.

 

“I’ll be out in a minute!”

 

The knocking continues so I figure that the person has not heard me.  I walk over to the door and unlock it, opening it just a crack so that I can tell the person to give me a minute to dry off.

 

But I only get a split second view of ocean blue eyes before I am pushed back into the bathroom and a pair of lips is attached to my own.


	17. Brotherly Advice

**Peeta’s POV:**

Electric heat courses throughout my body as soon as my lips connect with Katniss’ lips.  I just had to kiss her.  I had to make sure that the fire between us was real, that I wasn’t imagining our connection…that it was still there.

 

And it was.  It _is_.

I barely get a taste of her sweet lips before I feel myself being pushed back.  I stumble to right myself before I fall into the towel rack.

 

“Peeta!  What the hell?”  Katniss’ face is a mottled red looking color and she is clutching onto her towel for dear life.

 

“I’m sorry.  I just…I just needed to kiss you again.  I needed to feel that fire between us.”

 

Katniss takes a step towards me, her silvery eyes glinting with anger.  “You can’t just barge into the bathroom and kiss me!  You…you have a fiancée!”

 

I sigh, running my fingers through my hair and closing my eyes so I don’t have to see the anger in her eyes.  “I know, but she is a stranger to me.  She isn’t even my type.  I don’t want to marry her.”

 

The anger drops from Katniss’ face.  “Look, I’m sorry I yelled at you, but you have to do the right thing.  For all you know, your memories could return and you could find yourself head over heels in love with her.  This isn’t exactly a piece of cake for me either.”  She tucks her towel in further and then takes my hands into her own.  “You…you’ve come to mean a lot to me Peeta, and I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t just let you throw away your old life, your _real_ life, for me.”

 

She cares for me.  I can see it in her eyes and feel it as her hands grip mine tighter.  I can’t just let her go, but she’s right, I have other obligations now.  I take her hand and gently place a kiss on it.  “I want you to be my life now.”  I hear her gasp and open her mouth to say something.  I quickly place a finger to her lips to silence her.  “But…I know that I have a life here that I just can’t leave behind.  I guess I have some major decisions to make.”

 

Katniss takes a step back, her gray eyes storming over with emotion.  “I guess you do.  Now, if you would kindly leave, I need to get dressed.”

 

I turn around without another word and leave the room.

 

My emotions are threatening to overtake me as I flop down on the bed in my old room.  I must have liked art because there are several blank canvases and painting supplies littered throughout my room.  There are also a few paintings on the wall that show my tiny initials in the lower corner.  I like the paintings, but I can’t see how I could have possibly made something so beautiful.

 

So much has happened to me in the past few days that I can’t believe that I’m letting a little thing like art occupy my thoughts.  I finally got to meet my family and they accepted me with open arms.  I have a loving fiancée that is pretty, but not really my type.  I feel like I am in an arranged marriage or something because I don’t remember anything about Delly.  The only things I can surmise are that she has an overly bubbly personality and has no qualms about public displays of affection.

 

I’m still wallowing in my misery when I hear a loud knock at my door.  “Come in,” I mumble.

 

The door creaks open and I see my brother Justin enter the room and swiftly shut the door behind him.  “Hey Peeta, can we talk?”

 

I lift myself from my bed and into a sitting position.  “Yeah sure.”  I motion over towards the chair at my desk and Justin takes a seat.

 

“So…I’m not exactly known for my subtly so I’ll just get straight to the point.  How long have you two been fucking?”

 

I reel back at his words, my mouth opening and closing like a fish.  “Uhh…what?”

 

“Don’t play dumb with me, you and your little ‘nurse’ have the ‘we’ve fucked’ look going on big time.”

 

I blink at him, unsure of what to say.  “Oh, no…no we haven’t had sex, we are just good friends.”

 

Justin laughs and spins himself in the chair.  “Liar.  I see the way you two look at each other.  It’s not like I blame you bro, she’s smokin’ hot.”

 

“Don’t you dare touch her!”  The words fly from my mouth before I can stop them.

 

My brother laughs even louder.  “I knew it!  So, what are you gonna do?  I don’t think Delly would be too happy to know that you fucked another woman.”

 

I close my eyes and breathe deeply to keep myself calm.  “It’s not like I knew that I was engaged.  Honestly though?  Delly doesn’t even seem like the type of girl I would go for.”

 

Something flickers in Justin’s eyes, but it is gone a second later.  He shrugs.  “Well you did.  Look, do you want my advice?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“You better decide which life you want to live, and soon.  Mother will not take kindly to the fact that you have a thing for your nurse.  Delly is like a daughter to her already.  Mom would probably disown you if you decided not to marry her.  I’m not saying that that is what you have to do, just as a fair warning.”

 

I let out a huff of annoyance.  “Yeah, thanks for the _great_ advice.”

 

“Anytime bro,” he says as he leaves the room.

 

Justin hasn’t told me anything that I didn’t know already.  I really have a lot of thinking to do.

 

 

 

 

 

My father gets me up at the crack of dawn to go with him to the bakery.  “I want to see if your old workplace triggers some memories for you.”

 

I get dressed quickly and we make the five minute trip to the bakery.  While the inside of the place doesn’t trigger any specific memories, it does hit me with a sense of familiarity, like my mind recognizes that I used to be here a lot.

 

My father takes me to the back and places a huge ball of dough in front of me.  “Knead this.”

 

I look up at him in confusion.  “How?”

 

“Just knead it; your body might remember the movements subconsciously.”

I look down at the dough and touch it.  It is slightly sticky, but feels good underneath my fingertips.  I push my hands into it and it’s like magic.  My hands automatically take over, knowing exactly what to do.

 

My father smiles at me.  “See?  You remember.”

 

I slap the dough down and suddenly a memory flashes into my mind.

 

_I knead the dough roughly, slamming it down on the counter to get my frustration out._

_My mother peeks her head around the corner.  “What are you doing?”_

_“Leave me alone!”_

_Her icy cold fingers lash out and grip my wrist hard.  “Listen here, you’ll go through with it, no matter what.  Do you hear me?”_

_I wrench my hand from her grasp.  “I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”_

_She sneers at me.  “Just remember the consequences if you don’t…”_

The flashback ends, but it doesn’t stop the myriad of emotions from running through my head.  Why was I so mad?  And why was my mother so adamant that I go through with whatever _it_ was?

 

I need to figure this out as soon as possible.  I also need to tell Katniss that one of my memories has returned.


	18. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Confrontations**

**Katniss’ POV:**

 

When I wake up the next morning and head downstairs, I notice that Peeta is nowhere to be found. Just when I am about to enter the kitchen to search for him, I hear two voices that stop me cold.

 

“Did you _see_ the way he looked at her though?”

 

I inch closer to the kitchen, staying as quiet as possible so I don’t alert what sounds like Delly and someone else to my presence.

 

“It doesn’t matter. He belongs here with you. We have worked too hard on this for any _real_ feelings he may have to get in the way now,” Peeta’s mother pipes up.

 

I gasp and then immediately cover my mouth, hoping that she didn’t hear me. Her and Delly have worked too hard on what? On something to do with Peeta? No…they can’t possibly mean how he looks at _me_ can they?

 

“Andrea, I just don’t know how to convince him that we were in love and that he _wants_ to marry me. If his memories ever do come back…” Delly trails off.

 

“Don’t say that! I’m sure they would have by now if they were going to at all. If he ever…ever finds out, this all might be ruined for good.”

 

I creep closer to the entryway of the kitchen, curious to see just what they are talking about. Whatever it is, it sure doesn’t sound good.

 

The hardwood floor beneath me creaks and I cringe, knowing that my presence has just been announced.

 

I peek around the corner and see a very angry looking Andrea and Delly staring back at me.

 

“Umm, is Peeta around? He needs to have his blood pressure checked.”

 

Andrea gives me a dirty look. “No, his father took him to the bakery thinking it would help him get back some of his memories.”

 

I fully enter the kitchen with my hands on my hips, tired of being treated like scum. “I am supposed to accompany Peeta wherever he goes, in case something goes wrong.”

 

The older woman snorts. “He is perfectly fine at the bakery. Plus, I’m sure you needed your beauty sleep.” With that one last jibe in my direction, Andrea exits the room.

 

Delly huffs and then stands, coming right up to me and jabbing her manicured pointer finger at me. “I know what you are doing and I don’t like it.”

 

I really have no idea what she is talking about. “Huh?”

 

She flips back her blonde mane and gives a sharp, staccato laugh. “Don’t play stupid with me. I know you have a ‘thing’ for my fiancé. I’m telling you right now that it’s never going to happen between the two of you. He loves _me_ , and even though he doesn’t remember that right now, I will gladly remind him of how perfect we are for each other _every_ night for the rest of our lives.”

 

Her words cut deep, a lot deeper than they should. I shouldn’t be so caught up with a man destined to be married. Part of me wants to brag about the amazing sex Peeta and I had, or the kiss we shared just last night, but I know that will do nothing but cause trouble for the both of us. Instead, I decide to play dumb. “I have no idea what you are talking about. I am Peeta’s nurse, nothing more.”

 

Delly sneers at me. “Do I look like I was born yesterday? You and Peeta have been acting really strange from the moment you arrived. He _blushes_ around you for God’s sake!”

 

He blushes around me? I never noticed that before. I shake my head slowly before meeting the blonde’s eyes. “Listen, it really doesn’t matter, does it? _You’re_ his fiancée, not me. He’s going to marry you, and I will be all the way across the country.” I have to choke back a sob as my own words sink in.

 

A smirk plays across her bubblegum pink lips. “You know what? You are absolutely right. There really is nothing you can do to stop Peeta from marrying me. Honestly, you should just leave now and save us all some trouble.”

 

 

I sigh deeply. “I can’t do that, Peeta needs some more tests back in Pennsylvania before he can come home for good.”

 

“Peeta needs what?” I turn and see that the man in question has just sauntered into the kitchen, flour dusting his clothes and cheek.

 

My stomach dips low at the sight of him. The shaggy hair nearly covering his bright blue eyes and his muscular arms are enough to make any woman swoon.

 

Peeta looks at me questioningly and I realize that I have been staring. “Oh, yeah I was just telling Delly that you will need to return to Pennsylvania with me for another week or so before you can come back here for good.”

 

His eyes lose some of their earlier sparkle and he looks down at his feet. “Right. Katniss? Can I speak to you?” He flicks his gaze over to his fiancée and then back to me. “Alone?”

 

Delly makes a huff of disappointment before making her way over to Peeta and planting a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

 

He clears his throat. “Okay, sure.”

 

Once Delly has left the kitchen, Peeta takes my hand and pulls me over to the kitchen table. “I remembered something today,” he says as he takes a seat and motions for me to join him.

 

I gasp in shock and quickly sit on one of the worn wooden chairs. “What was it?”

 

Peeta sighs and draws his hand through his hair. “It wasn’t exactly pleasant.”

 

He pauses to collect his thoughts but I’m not exactly known for my patience. “Tell me please.”

 

The chair across from mine scraps roughly against the floor as he fidgets in his seat. “My father had me knead some bread and it brought up a flashback. In the memory I was also kneading bread when my mom came in to tell me that I had to go through with something…that I had no choice in the matter. I have no idea what she was talking about, but I know that I was very angry at the time.”

 

I inhale sharply at his words. Combined with what I overheard Delly and Peeta’s mom talking about before, it almost sounds like Peeta was being forced into marrying Delly. If that is the case, he needs to know. He _deserves_ to know the truth.

 

“Peeta? I overheard your mother and Delly talking this morning about you.”

 

Peeta’s blue eyes flick up to meet mine. “What did they say?”

I describe the entire conversation in as much detail as possible for him, making sure to include the things that Delly said to me afterward.

 

When I am finished, Peeta slumps over and buries his face in his hands. “Katniss, I don’t know what to do. This…this whole thing is a mess! I thought I was beginning to understand myself, to regain a sense of who I was and who I am. But now…I don’t know what to think!”

 

I stand up and place my hand on Peeta’s shoulder in a comforting gesture. “Hey, we will figure it out.”

 

He stands up so abruptly that I almost stumble backwards. Blue fire sparks in his eyes. “My flashback combined with what you overheard makes it seem like I was being forced to marry Delly! How the hell am I going to just ‘figure it out?’ Everything in life just doesn’t work out like that!”

 

I take a step back and process what he is saying to me. He is angry beyond belief and even though I know that his anger isn’t really directed towards me, I still feel as if I should apologize to him. “Peeta…I’m so sorry. I’m good at helping to heal people’s physical problems, not so much their emotional ones. I…I was just trying to help.”

 

Peeta’s face loses some of its fire and he steps towards me and envelops me into a hug. “It’s not your fault,” he whispers into my ear as he holds me. “I just don’t know what to do.”

 

I say nothing in return. I don’t know what to do either.


	19. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Decisions**

**Peeta’s POV:**

The rest of my trip back ‘home’ is filled with secrets and hostility. My mother and fiancée act like I was never gone, suffocating me with attention and affection. It’s seems off though. It seems like they are forcing something that isn’t there.

 

Katniss has done her best to support me, but I can tell she is extremely uncomfortable with the whole situation. I know that once my treatment in Pennsylvania is complete, that I will have to make a life-altering decision. I will either have to say goodbye to Katniss, or goodbye to my family and fiancée.

 

My head is still reeling with the information that Katniss told me about the things she overheard Delly and my mother talking about. However, it’s just hard for me to believe that I would marry somebody for any other reason besides love. No, I must have loved her, there has to be a rational explanation for everything that has happened.

 

The day I am to leave back to PA, my dad hands me an envelope at the airport. It has my name on it, scrawled in an unfamiliar handwriting. “This is from your friend Finnick. He is out of town, but gave this to me before you arrived with strict instructions that you are not to read it until you are on the plane ride back to PA.”

 

I take the envelope and hastily shove it in my jacket pocket before anyone else can see it. Thankfully, Katniss is too busy arguing with my mother about something for anybody to notice.

 

“Flight 2389 to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania will begin boarding shortly.”

 

At the sound of that announcement, Katniss and the rest of my family come over to where I am standing with my father.

 

“Oh Peeta, I cannot wait until you come home to me for good!” Delly hugs me hard and with a snide look at Katniss, kisses me.

 

I fight the urge to push her away, but I don’t give her any extra affection either. The other members of my family say their farewells to me and before I know it, we are taking off for Pittsburgh.

 

“I’ve never been so relieved to leave somewhere in my whole life,” Katniss says as she readjusts her seat.

 

I sigh loudly. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I really do appreciate all of your help. That was really difficult for me. I was hoping that the trip home would bring back more of my memories.”

 

Katniss gives me a weak smile and pats my hand. “I know, and I’m sorry that it didn’t work out that way. I called Dr. Aurelius earlier and he said that you are clear to go back home for good in about a week if everything goes well.”

 

“What if I don’t want to go back?” I look her in the eye and see a swarm of emotions beneath the silver depths.

 

“You have everything you could ever want and need there Peeta, a good career, money, family, and a woman who loves you.” She turns away before I can answer back.

 

I place my hand on her shoulder and try to turn her back, to tell her that everything that I want would not be in LA, because she wouldn’t be there. “Katniss…”

 

She brushes my hand away. “I need to rest Peeta, I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

 

I decide to let it go, for now. I shift myself into a more comfortable position in my seat, as I do, I hear a crinkling noise and remember the letter that my father handed to me. I carefully take it out of my jacket pocket and smooth out the wrinkles.

 

Glancing over to Katniss, I see that her eyes are closed and she is likely asleep. I tear open the envelope as quietly as possible and pull out a lined piece of paper.

 

 

_Peeta,_

_I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to see you when you came back. Annie (that’s my wife and I were visiting her parents in Florida. We had a baby a few months ago and her parents were anxious to meet him. Anyway, I know that you probably don’t remember me, but the two of us have been friends since high school and we have been through a lot together. I have included a few pictures that will hopefully jog your memory._

I shake the envelope and sure enough, a few old pictures fall out into my lap. The first one is me and a tall, bronze-haired guy who I’m guessing is Finnick. We look pretty young, maybe fifteen or so and we are standing in our swimsuits at a beach somewhere, my pale complexion in stark contrast to his tanned skin. I smile, but no memory hits me.

 

The next picture is of Finnick, a pretty girl who I think is Annie, Delly, and me. I frown when I see Delly, and when I look closer I see that even though Finnick and Annie are smiling brightly with their arms around each other, Delly and I aren’t even touching each other. I can practically see the love between Finnick and Annie, but Delly and I hardly look cordial with one another.

 

The final picture must have been taken at Finnick and Annie’s wedding. They are sitting together in the background while I am standing in the front with a microphone in my hands. I must have been the best man.

 

Suddenly, a memory hits me out of nowhere.

 

_“To Finnick and Annie!” The crowd follows my lead and we all take a sip of champagne in celebration of the newlyweds._

_Finnick comes up to me and wraps me into a bear hug. “Thanks man, nothing means more to me than you spending my special day with me and Annie.”_

_“Of course. That’s what friends are for.”_

_Finnick’s bright smile fades. “You don’t have to do it you know.”_

_I sigh and run my hand through my hair. “Yes I do. There is no way out of it.”_

_Finnick’s green-eyes gazes bores right through me. “What if I told you that there is?”_

The memory fades as I desperately try to remember more. It’s useless, it’s gone now. I continue to read my letter.

 

 

_There are so many things that I want to tell you, but now is not the time. You need to remember things on your own, not have someone who is basically a stranger to you for now tell them to you. However, I feel obligated to say this at least, don’t trust Delly and don’t trust your mother. They don’t have your best interests in mind. I’m not telling you not to come back home, or not to marry Delly, that has, and will always be your choice. I’m just saying that you need to tread carefully until your memories return. I hope to be able to talk to you soon, I miss you man and I’m so relieved that you are alive and okay._

_Finnick_

_P.S. Oh, and Peeta? You’re a good guy, if all else fails, follow your heart._

I fold the letter back up and hastily place it and the pictures back into the envelope. The memory that resurfaced of me at Finnick’s wedding has me even more confused. Just what was Finnick trying to tell me?

 

I believe him. I believe that we were friends and that he only wants what is best for me. Just from my memory, the pictures, and the way he wrote this letter to me, I can tell that he is sincere. I have a gut feeling about him.

 

Katniss stirs and turns towards me. “Peeta? What’s that?” She motions towards the envelope in my hand and I know that I need to tell her about it.

 

“It’s a letter from my friend Finnick, do you want to read it?”

 

Katniss nods and takes out the letter and pictures. I watch her expression as she studies the pictures and reads through the letter. She looks perplexed; scrunching her brow and a small frown forming at her lips.

 

When she is finished she hands everything back to me. “That was…interesting. Did the pictures jog any memories?”

 

I quickly tell her about my brief memory and my impression of Finnick.

 

“So, he doesn’t trust Delly or your mother either.”

 

I nod at her. “Right, and with the way they were acting the entire time, I have to say that I agree with him.”

 

Katniss shifts closer to me, her long braid falling behind her back. “I wish I had all of the answers for you.”

 

I sigh and take her hand in mine. Surprisingly, she doesn’t pull away. “I know you do. That’s the thing about you Katniss, you always want what’s best for me, even if it’s difficult for you.”

 

She gives me a small smile and gently squeezes my hand. She pauses a long moment, seeming deep in thought before saying, “I do want what’s best for you, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not selfish, it doesn’t mean that I don’t wish that you will choose me.”

 

Her confession shocks me, but before I can say anything else, she continues. “Because I do want you to choose me. I want you to stay in PA with me. I’ve tried…I’ve tried so hard to let you go, to let you go back to your old life, but I can’t. I can’t keep pretending that what I feel for you isn’t real.”

 

My heart feels like a weight has been lifted off it and a smile bursts from my lips. “Katniss, what…what changed your mine? I thought you wanted me to go back to my family and Delly?”

 

Katniss lets go of my hand and pulls at her braid, fiddling with her dark hair. “I did. I wanted you to go back to your old life because I believed that that would be best for you in the long run, that you would eventually regain your memories and remember that you loved Delly and wanted your life back with her…and if you had chosen me, that you would come to resent me and hate me forever.”

 

I pull her face gently so that I can look into her eyes. I brush back a tendril of hair that had escaped from her braid and tuck in behind her ear. “I could never hate you. No matter what happens, you will always be the angel who helped save my life.”

 

I see tears forming in her gray eyes and one slips down her cheek. “You always know just what to say.”

 

I wipe the tear off of her cheek and lean in, kissing her softly on the mouth. She lets me.

 

“In light of recent events, and what you just told me, I think that I have made up my mind.”

 

Katniss looks at me, more tears threatening to spill at any moment. “And?”

 

I cup her face in my hands and gently stroke her cheek. “And I’m staying in PA with you, for good.”

 

Her tears flow over, but her smiles lights up her face as she pulls me in for a kiss. “I was hoping that you would say that.”

 

 

 

After my decision to stay, I have felt nothing but pure happiness. I know that I have to tell Delly and my family that I will not be returning to LA, but just being with Katniss, and knowing how much she cares for me makes everything worth it.

 

I’m making dinner for us at her, or I guess _our_ apartment when my cell phone rings. I look down at the Caller ID and see that it’s Delly. I am nowhere near ready to tell her that our engagement is off so I hastily hit the ‘ignore’ button and resume making dinner.

 

A few minutes later, my phone buzzes, alerting me to a new text message. I feel like ignoring it but it buzzes again so I decide to look.

 

**Delly 5:58 PM: Are you ignoring me?**

**Delly 5:59 PM: I have URGENT news, call me back.**

I toss down the knife I was cutting vegetables with on the counter and dial Delly’s number. I guess dinner will have to wait. Apparently my confrontation with Delly can wait no longer.

 

She answers after one ring, “Don’t ignore me when I call you, Peeta.”

 

I sigh into the phone. “I was cooking dinner. Anyway, before you say anything, I have something I need to tell you…”

 

“No, I have something I need to tell _you_ first.”

 

I snort. “I’m sure it isn’t as important as what I am going to say”

 

“Actually it is.” Her tone is snide and almost cocky, implying that she is more important than whatever I have to say. “I just got back from the doctor’s office. I’m pregnant. It’s yours.”

 

The phone falls from my hand and clatters to the floor.


	20. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Broken**

**Katniss’ POV:**

When I arrive back to the apartment I am not met with the smells of dinner cooking as I had expected, but instead with the sound of hushed sobbing. Fearing the worst, I throw down my coat and purse and rush towards the sound.

 

“Peeta! Peeta are you okay?”

 

I get no answer so I follow the sound into the kitchen. It is there that I find him. He is slumped on the ground, his head buried in his hands. I watch as his body shakes slightly from his crying. I feel my heart race as I wonder what on earth is going on.

 

“Peeta?” I go over to him and sit next to him on the floor. “What happened?”

 

He finally lifts his head, his blue eyes inflamed and red from crying. “I…I was making dinner and I got a phone call…”

 

I put my arm around him and encourage him to continue. “Go on…”

 

A tear slips down his cheek. “It was Delly…I was going to tell her that I wasn’t coming back.”

 

Wait, he _was_ going to tell her? As in he didn’t tell her? “You didn’t tell her?”

 

“I didn’t get the chance. She dropped a bomb on me. She told me that she is pregnant.”

 

I feel my world crashing down on me at his words. Delly. Is. Pregnant. “How do you know that it is your baby?”

 

Peeta shrugs, an exasperated sound escaping from his mouth. “I guess I don’t really. But Katniss, what if it is?” His bright blue gaze bores into me and I feel my heart breaking as we speak.

 

“How do you know she is even pregnant? It seems pretty convenient that she is suddenly pregnant when you come back here.”

 

Peeta sighs and fishes his cell phone out of his pocket. “She sent me a picture…of the ultrasound.”

 

He finds the picture and hands his phone to me. I see what certainly looks like an ultrasound, and sure enough, in the corner is Delly’s name and yesterday’s date. It can’t be…I just can’t handle this.

 

“What are you going to do?”

 

“I don’t want the baby to grow up without a father. It would be different if she lived out here, then I could see my child without marrying her, but she lives in LA…”

 

He lets his words trail off and I know immediately what he is implying. He’s leaving PA…he’s leaving _me_. Still, I have to try… “But what about what Finnick said? In his letter? He said not to trust Delly.”

 

Peeta slowly shakes his head. “I know, but what if I am the father? I want to be there for my child…I have to be.”

 

I withdraw my arm from around him and stand up swiftly. “Seems like you’ve already made up your mind then.”

 

Peeta arises as well and takes my hands into his. I try to memorize the warm and slightly rough texture of his hands. I am sure that this will be one of the last times that I get to experience this. “Katniss…you must know how difficult this is for me. What would _you_ do in my situation?”

 

I remove my hands from his and turn away so he can’t see the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes. “I…I don’t know. I just know that I haven’t felt this way about a guy in a very long time and now I’m losing you.”

 

The tears overflow and I can’t stifle the sob that escapes my mouth. I feel Peeta’s arms embracing me, but I can’t handle it right now. I wrench myself free. “Don’t…just don’t.”

 

He draws back, looking hurt. “I’m sorry Katniss. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

 

I look up at him and his eyes tell me that what he is saying is true. “I know.”

 

________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Later on that week, Peeta is given the all clear by the doctors to return to Los Angeles. Our interactions over the past week have been awkward. We’ve been avoiding spending any time together; not wanting to do anything that will make Peeta’s departure any more difficult.

 

I’m tired of it though. I’m tired of us ignoring each other when we should be embracing our last moments together. I will miss him more than anything, but I want a few more lasting memories of us together before I lose him forever.

 

On his last night with me, I insist that we eat dinner together. He doesn’t say anything to me at first, the room filled with only the sounds of our forks scraping on our plates. Finally, I break the silence.

 

“I’m going to miss you Peeta.”

 

He drops his fork, the clattering sound echoing in the room. “Oh Katniss, I’m going to miss you too.”

 

He comes over to me and holds me in his strong arms. I inhale deeply, taking in his unique scent and enjoying his warmth. A few tears fall from my eyes and land on his navy T-shirt. “I’m sorry.”

 

He pulls back to look at me. “Don’t apologize; I know none of this is ideal.”

 

 

I sniffle and wipe the tears from my cheek. “I just wish…I wish.”

 

Peeta places a finger to my lips and silences me. “I know. I wish so many things too. I wish I could have met you before Delly or that I never saw my face on that news program. I wish that we could be together…and I wish I could make love to you one more time.”

 

I look up into his beautiful blue eyes and contemplate what he just said to me. The words ‘make love’ strike me in particular. Does that mean he loves me? I yearn to know the answer, but I know that it will be better for me in the long run if it remains a mystery. Still, I want him. I want one last night in his arms. I want one last time of bliss before the pain of tomorrow comes.

 

“I’ll allow it.”

 

His eyes widen. “You’ll allow what exactly?”

 

I don’t answer him, at least not in words. Instead, I take his hand and lead him to my bedroom. He stops in the doorway. “Katniss are…are you sure?”

 

I begin to pull off my shirt. “Yes, I need to be with you…one last time.”

 

Peeta nods and helps me rid myself of my shirt, and then the rest of my clothing as well. When we are both undressed, he kisses me gently and lies me down on the bed. I close my eyes and commit every touch to memory. Peeta’s hands trail down my body, tickling my sides on his way. When his fingers reaching my clit, he circles it lightly, a gentle tease.

 

I whimper as his fingers pick up speed and soon I am coming undone. “Oh…Peeta”

 

Peeta gives me a sad smile and kisses me again. I reach down and take his cock in my hand, feeling him already hard and ready. “Katniss…I want this to last.”

 

I nod in understanding and find a condom, sheathing him in it.

 

Peeta places himself at my entrance and we lock eyes. “Are you sure?”

 

I grip his back and urge him on. “Yes, I need you.”

 

He enters me in one swift thrust and I moan at the feeling of him being inside me once again. I briefly think of how wrong it is for me to be sleeping with someone else’s fiancé, but those thoughts quickly fade as Peeta pumps slowly in and out of me.

 

He holds me close and I close my eyes, lost in the feeling of making love with Peeta. Because that’s what this is; it isn’t fucking or just having sex, it’s two people saying with their bodies what they can’t say with words.

 

After a few moments, Peeta speaks up. “Katniss, look at me.”

 

I open my eyes and see his clear blue ones, so full of emotion, gazing down at me. I want to tell him that I love him, but this is going to be painful enough without those three important words, so I stay quiet and keep my eyes locked to his.

 

Peeta’s thrusts become faster and sloppier. “I…I can’t hold out much longer.”

 

I smile up at his and caress his cheek. “It’s okay, I want you to come.”

 

He pumps into me a few more times before stilling himself and moaning my name.

 

After we clean up, we spoon on my bed; my head nestled in his arms. “Thank you Katniss.”

 

“Thank you Peeta.”

 

Soon, I hear him breathing evenly and I know that he has fallen asleep. It is only then that I let myself cry.

 

 

 

I take Peeta to the airport the next day. Waking up in his arms and remembering our love making was incredible, but I couldn’t let the moment linger. I had to try to move on with my life.

 

Peeta checks his bags and we sit in silence for his plane to arrive. When they call for passengers to board, I know that this is it. I know that this will be the last time that I ever see him.

 

Peeta pulls me into a tight hug. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

After a few long moments, he lets go and with a simple kiss, he turns to leave.

 

“Goodbye Katniss.”

 

“Goodbye Peeta.”


	21. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Help From A Friend**

**Peeta’s POV:**

Leaving Katniss was the hardest thing that I have ever done. When I got onto the plane in Pennsylvania and took off, I knew that I would never see her beautiful face again, never hear her angelic voice, and never touch her soft skin. Never again would I feel complete.

 

It doesn’t matter though. I had to return to my old life, and I have.

 

Delly greeted me at LAX with a hug and kiss. She did not look pregnant to me, but I know that it takes some time for women to show.

 

“Oh Peeta! I thought for sure that you would abandon me and your unborn child! I’m so happy that you are here!”

Damn, she is a good actress. I almost believe her. “How far along are you?” I hope I catch her in a lie. If she says anything a month or less I know that she is lying, or that the baby isn’t mine.

 

Delly places her hand gingerly over her abdomen. “About six weeks.”

 

I sigh, knowing my next question will only anger her further. “Are you sure it’s mine?”

 

Her pale complexion turns an angry shade of red. “Of course it’s yours! I’ve only ever had sex with you Peeta! We were each other’s firsts and onlys…don’t you remember?”

 

I don’t remember and she could be lying for all I’ll ever know. I point my finger in her face. “You know damn well that I don’t remember!”

 

She swipes my finger away. “It doesn’t matter, because it is all true. Now, let’s get you home.” She hoists her purse over her shoulder and walks towards the parking lot. Home is no longer in Los Angeles to me though. I think it will always be with Katniss.

 

 

 

As the week goes by I am tempted to call or at least text Katniss to see how she is doing. However, she asked me for a clean break. She said that it would be easier this way, but I disagree. I think about her all the time, and faking any kind of feelings for Delly has become a chore.

 

My dad gives me my job back at the bakery, and I am working in the front at the register when I hear the bell hanging over the door ring.

 

I look up and see a tall, bronze-haired man come in. He immediately smiles at me and I recognize him. It’s Finnick.

 

I come around to the front and smile at my old friend. “Finnick?”

 

Finnick’s smile grows wider, flashing two dimples on his cheeks. “Peeta? You remember me? Did you get my letter?” Before I have the chance to answer, Finnick pulls me into a hug.

 

As soon as he releases me, I answer him. “I got your letter and the pictures. The one at your wedding jogged a memory, so yes, I do remember you.”

 

“Good. I really am glad to see you again. Forgive me for being so blunt, but I have to ask…are you still going to go through with the wedding?”

 

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. “I…I’m not sure. I need some time to figure things out first. Delly still feels like a stranger to me, even though everyone says that we’ve known each other forever. She’s pregnant though…”

 

Finnick blinks and shakes his head a bit. “I’m sorry; did you say that Delly is _pregnant_?”

 

His shock at my answer concerns me. “Yes, she is six weeks along. I saw the ultrasound.”

 

My friend lets out a puff of air. “No, I don’t really doubt that Delly is pregnant. What I doubt is that the baby is yours.”

 

I feel my chest tighten and I struggle to breathe for a second. Now I have had my concerns about whether or not the baby is mine, but hearing a friend of mine voice his own concerns is something else all together. “Why do you think that?”

 

Finnick sighs. “What do you remember about your relationship with Delly?”

 

I shake my head. “Nothing really, just what she has told me and my family has told me.”

 

“Well, allow me to tell you my point of view, as your best friend, of your relationship with Delly.”

 

I nod and steer him over to the small table and chairs in the corner of the bakery. “It’s slow this afternoon; I’m ready to hear this.”

 

But am I really? Am I really ready to hear about my past with Delly? My heart races in my chest as Finnick sits down and clears his throat.

 

“You and Delly met as children. Your parents knew each other, so naturally the two of you went on lots of play dates. As you grew older, the platonic feelings that you had towards each other morphed into romantic feelings.”

 

I cut him off. “How old were we when that happened?”

 

Finnick ponders my question before answering. “It was in high school…maybe when you were about sixteen or so?”

 

“Okay, keep going.”

 

“The two of you were the golden couple of our high school. You were voted Prom King and Queen and also Best Couple during our senior year. You were head over heels for that girl and your parents and her parents could not have been happier. I think your mother thought of Delly as the daughter that she never had…she still does.”

 

Well, that explains a lot. My mother dotes on Delly. “That’s for sure.”

 

“Anyway, the two of you were as happy as could be and even went to UCLA together. That’s when things started to go south. You were a business major; destined to take over your parents’ bakery, but that isn’t what you wanted to do with your life. You wanted to major in art. Your mother wasn’t having any of that, she insisted that you stay in business and when you asked Delly to help you convince her to let you switch…”

 

Finnick stops for a moment and takes a deep breath before continuing. “Delly took your mom’s side. You were very angry with both of them, but especially with Delly. You thought that your girlfriend would support you and would want you to pursue your dreams. That is when you finally saw the real Delly, or at least the monster that your mom made her.”

 

I try to take in everything that Finnick has just told me. “So I did love Delly?”

 

He nods. “ _Did_ being the imperative word here.”

 

I’m still confused though, why didn’t I just break things off if I wasn’t in love with Delly anymore? “Then why did we get engaged? Why didn’t I leave her?”

 

Finnick pats me on the shoulder before he continues. “Your mother forced you to get engaged to her. You were already so far into debt from attending UCLA and she threatened to refuse to pay for your college like she claimed she was going to before…she also threatened to disown you. You no longer would’ve had a job lined up at the bakery, or a place to live, or anything.”

 

I flinch and can’t help but to cringe at his words. Was my mother really so cruel? “What about my dad? Did he agree? And why did my mom insist on me marrying Delly anyway?”

 

“Your dad is a decent guy, but he is terrified of your mother. All of your family’s finances are in her name. She owns the entire business of Mellark’s Bakery and is in the works of collaborating with Cartwright Diamonds, Delly’s father’s business, to make one big company ‘for all of your engagement and wedding needs.’” Finnick finishes the last part with air quotes.

 

My dream from a few weeks ago finally makes sense. My mother wanted Mellark’s Bakery to begin making wedding cakes and Cartwright’s Diamonds could supply the rings. “So she wanted our engagement and wedding to be a big production to advertise for this new company and make it one big family affair. It was all out of greed.”

 

My friend nods. “Yes. You were given a ring and were basically forced to propose to Delly. The wedding was supposed to be next month…but you disappeared.”

 

I am glad that I am sitting down, because I am floored by this news. White hot rage fills my blood at my mother’s greed and pride. I have to mentally count to ten and take deep breaths to quell this feeling. “Well…it was awfully convenient for them for me to lose my memory then, wasn’t it?”

 

Finnick nods. “Yes, but they didn’t have any direct responsibility for that. I’m afraid that it was my fault.”

 

“What? How? I was in a car accident in Pennsylvania.”

 

“Yes, but I gave you the idea to run away. When you came to my wedding, distraught over the idea of marrying a woman that you did not love, I contacted an investigator and found out the best way for a person to disappear and make a new life for themselves. That way, you would be free of your student loans, and free to fall in love with any girl that you wanted.”

 

My mind flashes to the memory of talking to Finnick at his wedding and him telling me that he knew a way for me to get out of marrying Delly…this is what the memory meant. “I believe you…it all makes sense.”

 

Finnick shakes his head. “I appreciate that, but I would rather you remember on your own before you make any drastic decisions regarding the rest of your life.”

 

But wait; wasn’t this whole conversation started because Finnick didn’t believe me to be the father of Delly’s baby? We seemed to have skipped over that somehow. “Wait, so are you saying that you don’t think that Delly’s baby is mine because I didn’t love her anymore?”

 

“Well, that and the fact that she was cheating on you. You caught her and this guy named Thom going at it in her room. I would bet good money that the baby is his.”

 

His words trigger a memory.

 

_I’m still reeling at the fact that I was forced to get engaged to Delly and I needed to talk to her about something important if this wedding was really to occur. I knock on the door to her apartment and when no one answers, I jiggle the handle and find it open._

_Inside, I see clothes strewn across the room, Delly’s lace bra flung over the back of the couch, her blouse on the floor, but more incriminating is the black trousers leading to the bedroom._

_Without thinking of the consequences, I fling open the bedroom door. I see my fiancée naked, in bed with another man._

I shake myself out of the memory. “Are you okay man?”

 

I nod at Finnick. “Yes, I just remembered seeing Delly and Thom together. It didn’t upset me as much as it should have, my lack of caring was the final straw. I made my decision to run that night.”

 

“Yes, and that was the last that I heard of you until your return the other week. You were supposed to contact me when you decided to settle down somewhere. When I didn’t hear from you, I assumed the worst. I’m beyond grateful that you are alive and okay, but it brings us back to square one. You are still engaged to Delly.”

 

I shake my head. “That’s only half the problem though. I met this girl while I was in Pennsylvania…she helped to save my life and I fell in love with her.”

 

Finnick gives me a sympathetic smile. “Your brother told me about her. He said he never saw two people try to hide their feelings as much as the two of you. Can I suggest something?”

 

I nod, eager to get any and all help that I can. “Of course.”

 

“There’s this psychologist who specializes in hypnosis, more specifically in regaining lost memories. Her name is Dr. Paylor, maybe she can help you.”

 

I consider his advice, but I am a bit skeptical. “I need to get back to work now. I will certainly think about everything you said and I will look into this Dr. Paylor. Thanks for everything.” I give Finnick another hug and watch him as he leaves.

 

As soon as the bakery is closed for the day, I slump to the floor, too emotionally fatigued to do anything more. I have a lot of thinking to do.

 

 

I decide to see Dr. Paylor. It was a tough decision, but I eventually decided that I needed answers and if hypnosis was the way to go, then I would do it.

 

The entire process is not what I expected. Dr. Paylor is a kind, gentle woman and she leads me through various exercises to keep me calm before reaching into the depths of my mind.

 

Paylor’s calm, soothing voice leads me through the hypnosis and something inside of me snaps. Floods of memories return to me.

 

_Throwing a football with my brothers, swimming at the beach with Finnick, kissing Delly, my mother striking me when I threatened not to marry Delly, Delly’s indifference towards me when we were alone, hitchhiking my way to Pennsylvania…_

When the session is over I have regained a lot of memories. Paylor told me that most of my memories will return over time, but I have to be patient. She said that photos and talking with my friends and family should help me.

 

The memories that have come back to me only confirm what Finnick told me at the bakery. I haven’t been in love with Delly in a long time, and I felt hopeless to change my situation before. Now I can see how my mother manipulated me and made me feel like I had no other choice but to marry Delly. It was no wonder I took such drastic measures to get away from her.

 

I don’t feel so hopeless now…I know what I have to do.


	22. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: Reunion**

**A/N: Last chapter before the epilogue! Just a warning that after the second break in the story, there is some more explicit than usual sexual content.**

**Katniss’ POV:**

 

Life moves on, as I suppose it does for everyone. Days move into nights and I find myself very much as I was before…alone.

 

Well, I’m not alone in the sense that there is no one else around, just in the sense that I feel alone without Peeta. I’m currently sitting in a dive bar with Johanna, who insisted that ‘one week was more than enough time to feel sorry for myself.’ I check my phone for the hundredth time that night, hoping that Peeta will call me, even though I told him not to.

 

I’m already on my second margarita when Jo nudges my arm, nearly causing me to spill the alcoholic beverage all over the scratched wooden bar. “Whoa! Look at tall, dark, and handsome over there by the pool tables!”

 

I’m not really that interested in checking him out, but I do for her sake. I crane my neck and see a tall guy with dark hair pluck a cue stick from the rack on the wall. Sure, he is an attractive man, but I’m just not ready yet. I turn back to my friend to tell her so, but she takes one look at my face and sighs. “I know that look. You’re still hung up over Peeta. Look, they say that the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else, and I would get under that man over there any day of the week.”

 

Usually I would laugh at Jo’s antics, but I’m not really in the mood tonight. I just want to go home, put on some sweatpants, and binge watch _Dexter_ on Netflix for the rest of the evening. “I…I just can’t Jo. I’m not ready yet.”

 

“Come on, I bet that guy is great in bed. Just go up to him and flirt for a change.”

 

I throw some money on the counter and get up to leave. “I’m going home.”

 

Johanna goes to stop me, but then seems to change her mind once she sees the look on my face.

 

 

 

 

A few days after Jo’s failed attempt at getting me a new man, I am sitting at home, still in my work scrubs, contemplating what to have for dinner. I’m not the best cook, and I haven’t exactly been feeling like going to the grocery store, so my food stores are alarmingly low. Chinese it is.

 

I call my favorite local Chinese restaurant and order spring rolls, wonton soup, and sweet and sour chicken. No matter what I order, the lady always tells me that it will take ‘ten minutes.’ Usually it’s more like thirty minutes.

 

Imagine my surprise when exactly ten minutes later, the doorbell rings. I rush over; excited to eat some good food and whip open the door, not bothering to check the peephole.

 

“Wow, that sure was…” The words die on my lips as I finally get a look at the person standing in front of me. It’s not the delivery man.

 

It’s Peeta.

 

I feel my heart, which I swear had gone dormant over the last week, shudder back to life and leap into my throat. I never thought I would see this man again, and here he is, standing at my door.

 

“Peeta?”

 

“Katniss.”

 

It is then that I notice the dark circles under his eyes and the small duffle bag and three large suitcases sitting beside him. I am even more confused than before.

 

“You’re…you’re here.”

 

Peeta lets out a small laugh and runs his hand through his already unruly hair. “I should’ve called…”

 

As happy as I am to see him, I still don’t understand what is going on. “Why are you here? What about Delly and your baby on the way?”

 

He sighs loudly. “It’s a long story, can I come in?”

 

My feelings could not be more conflicted. I really want to let him in and have a happy reunion, but I’m still hurt that he left me in the first place, and that he had the balls to just show up at my doorstep and expect me to let him back into my life. “You left me! You…you chose her! Why do you think you can just march back here and…”

 

I’m cut off when Peeta pulls me roughly to him and presses his lips firmly to my own. I don’t respond for a moment, too shocked to register what is happening, but then I feel it, that undeniable chemistry between the two of us, a hunger that food could never sate. I part my lips and he takes that as an invitation, slipping his tongue in my mouth to tangle with my own. Warmth fills me, radiating throughout my entire body. I feel wetness against my cheek and it takes me a minute to realize that I am crying.

 

Peeta pulls back. “I’m sorry Katniss. I shouldn’t have left you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was wrong. Nothing is right without you. Now, can we please continue this conversation inside? Away from prying eyes?” He nods his head to the left and I see that a few of my neighbors are peeking out of their doorways, curious as to what all the commotion is about.

 

I open the door wider and help Peeta bring in his bags. I offer him a drink and we sit together on my sofa.

 

“Tell me what happened.”

 

“I tried to go back to my old life…” Peeta pauses to collect his thoughts and runs his hand through his hair before taking a deep breath and continuing. “…but all I could think about was you. I wanted to call you or text you so many times, but I wanted to respect your wish to have a clean break. I did my best to pretend with Delly, but I couldn’t force myself to love her.”

 

He stops for a moment and takes my hand, the rough texture of his calloused thumb rubbing over my knuckles.

 

I give him a small smile. “Keep going, I’m listening.”

 

And he does. Peeta tells me about Finnick stopping by the bakery, about his past with Delly, his mother’s greed, and Delly’s betrayal. He ends with how he sought out hypnosis and regained most of his memories.

 

His story floors me. The poor man has been through so much. I still have a few more questions for him though.

 

“So the baby isn’t yours?”

 

Peeta shakes his head. “I haven’t slept with Delly in years.”

 

“And how did she react when you said that you were coming back here?”

Peeta sighs loudly. “At first it was pretty bad. She cursed at me and even went so far as to throw a plate at my head. She told me that she couldn’t believe that I would abandon her and our baby. Once I told her that my memories were back and that the baby couldn’t be mine, she changed her tune.”

 

I lean in to him. “What did she say then?”

 

“She started to cry and she told me how she had been in love with Thom for a long time, but she didn’t dare back out of our engagement. She told me that it killed her to have to pretend that the baby she was carrying was mine. Then…then she thanked me. Since I have broken off the engagement, she is free to be with Thom now.”

 

I lean forward and hug Peeta close to me, inhaling his scent and enjoying his warmth.

 

“How did your mother take the news?”

 

Peeta let out a snort and then chuckled lightly. “She yelled at me that I ruin everything and that I am never welcome back in her house or life ever again. She knew she couldn’t keep me there after I told her that my memories had returned. My dad and Finnick both told me that if I ever need anything that they would be there for me though.”

 

“Finnick seems like a great friend.”

 

He nods. “Yeah, I’ll miss him, but I knew I had to get back to you, you are my life now Katniss…if you’ll still have me?”

 

I can’t contain the smile on my face at his words. “Of course.”

 

He kisses me holds me tightly to him. “I want to tell you something, it’s something that I have felt for awhile now, but the time was never right to tell you. I love you Katniss Everdeen. You are the angel who helped save my life, and now, you are my life.”

 

I feel tears of happiness well up in my eyes at his words. “I love you too Peeta Mellark.”

 

 

Later, after we have gorged ourselves on Chinese food, I realize that I am still in my scrubs from work.

 

“I’m going to go take a shower, make yourself at home.”

 

Peeta’s sparkling blue eyes glint with mischief. “I’m rather _dirty_ myself, can I join you?”

 

I rip my clothes off my body in record time, right in front of him. “Come and get me,” I say as I run to the bathroom.

 

He chuckles, losing his clothing along the way.

 

Once we are both crowded together in my small shower, I let myself appreciate the hard angles of his muscular body, the light trail of hair on his lower abdomen, and his magnificent cock…hard and ready for me.

 

The hot water sprays over us as I kiss him, slowly at first, and then with increasing passion as I trail my hand down over his stomach and then over his erection.

 

“Mmm…Katniss.”

 

I wrap my hand around him and pump a few times before my lips leave his mouth and start a path from his neck, where I feel his pulse beating a rapid staccato, down to his pecs, and then further until I reach his cock, which is twitching in my hand.

 

Peeta realizes my intentions. “Katniss…ugh, you don’t have to do this.”

 

I look up at him, my gray eyes meeting his blue ones. I hope he can see the desire in my gaze. “I want to.”

 

He moans as I take him into my mouth, working my lips and tongue over the head and shaft, over and over again.

 

“I’m…I’m gonna come.”

 

I think he means this as a warning, but I just hum in approval and when he releases into my mouth, I swallow it all.

 

Peeta helps me up and kisses me. “That was amazing…let’s get washed off and I’ll return the favor.”

 

“Looking forward to it.”

 

We wash our bodies quickly, eager to get back to my bedroom.

 

We take turns towel drying each other before racing into my room, naked.

 

Peeta gently pushes me onto my bed before crawling over me and giving me a gentle kiss. His kisses trail lower and lower until I feel him pry apart my thighs and settle his head between them.

 

The first pass of his velvety tongue over my folds has me fisting my sheets in my hands. “Oh Peeta…”

 

I feel the vibration of his laugh against my clit and moan louder. “I’m just getting started here.”

 

Peeta alternates between flicking my clit with his tongue and then using it to lap at my entrance, teasing me, but not enough to bring me to orgasm. “Ugh…more!”

 

He chuckles again before taking two fingers and curling them inside of me, finding that delicate spot within me. His tongue is still circling my clit and that in tandem with his fingers causes my body to rush with heat and waves of bliss fall over me as I orgasm.

 

Peeta wipes off his mouth and fingers and leans back over to me and gives me a kiss. “You taste so good.”

 

I smile back at him and then I feel that he is hard again. I reach into my nightstand for a condom and hold it up to him, quirking my eyebrow in question.

 

“Oh hell yeah,” Peeta says as his slips on the condom. He flips us over and I straddle his hips, lowering myself onto his cock.

 

He fills me to the brim, the wetness from my recent orgasm easing the process.

 

“Fuck Katniss, you’re so sexy.” He gives a few quick thrusts upwards to start and soon I am riding him hard, rotating my hips so that I can stimulate my throbbing clit.

 

It feels like both hours and seconds before I am coming again, moaning his name loudly. Peeta catches the sound with his mouth and shudders as his own release hits him.

 

After, we lie sweaty and sated, wrapped in each others’ arms. Peeta gives me a sweet kiss.

 

I still have one more question for him. “Stay with me?”

 

His blue eyes sparkle as he answers. “Always.”

 

Peeta seals his promise with a kiss.


	23. Chapter 20: Epilogue

**Peeta’s POV:**

_Two years later…_

The early rays of dawn are just filtering through the open window when I wake up. I had the best dream last night; I dreamt that Katniss agreed to be my wife. A quick look over to the sleeping woman in question confirms that it wasn’t just a dream; the diamond solitaire ring on her finger is proof.

 

I lightly trace the bare olive skin of her arm with my fingertip, she stirs and swipes blindly at my finger and I can’t help but to chuckle. She’s a firecracker, even in her sleep. She is _my_ firecracker.

 

It’s been two years since I returned to Pennsylvania, and to Katniss. A lot has changed since then. I started working at a local bakery to help Katniss with rent and to begin the arduous task of paying off my student loans. I enjoyed working there, but the pay really wasn’t that great.

 

Everything changed a few months later when a stout man came in the bakery asking for ‘Peeta Mellark.’

 

_“That’s me,” I say as I set down the towel I was wiping the countertop off with._

_The man stuck out his large hand and pumped mine eagerly. “My name is Plutarch Heavensbee, I work with a publishing company and I heard about your story on the news a few months ago. I’m here to offer you a book contract, and if that works out well, a movie contract as well.”_

_I am floored by his offer. “What?”_

_Plutarch laughs good-naturedly at me. “Everyone wants to know the whole story about the man who lost his identity.”_

_I shake my head. “I’m really not that interesting. I kind of just want to put the whole thing behind me and move on with my life.”_

_The older man smirks at me. “Maybe you should see the money you will be getting before you make a final decision.”_

_Now, money really isn’t that important to me, I chose Katniss over the money I would’ve gotten back in Los Angeles, and would chose it again over and over again. However, when I see the amount that Plutarch is suggesting, I start to think about how Katniss and I are struggling to make ends meet, and how she is pulling extra shifts to try to help her little sister pay for college. This kind of money would be more than enough to help._

 

That’s how I ended up with a book deal. It was an instant hit and the movie is now in the works as well. Katniss jokes that Ryan Gosling should play me in the movie, but I don’t even know who I would pick to play her, no one comes close to her natural beauty.

 

I gently tickle Katniss’ side, waking her from sleep.

 

“Morning beautiful.”

 

She groans but gives me a small smile. “Morning.”

 

I lift up her left hand and kiss her finger, right above where the ring now sits. “I can’t believe you said yes.”

 

She chuckles at me and kisses my cheek. “Of course I said yes! I love you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

 

“I love you too,” I say as I kiss her lips gently. Katniss tangles her fingers through my hair and pulls me closer.

 

When she finally pulls away, her sparkly gray eyes meet my blue ones. She smiles. “I hope our baby has your eyes.”

 

My mind flits back to last night. Katniss refused to drink the champagne I bought for us to celebrate after I proposed. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now I think I know why. “You’re…you’re pregnant?”

 

Her smile bursts into a full blown grin as she nods. “Yes!” I wanted to tell you yesterday but then you proposed and things got a bit out of hand after that…”

 

What she means is that after my proposal, we spent the next several hours in bed, becoming a sweaty, but sated mess in no time.

 

I guess I am still I shock, because Katniss frowns at me. “You’re not upset are you?”

 

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her face between my words. “No! I’m just surprised that’s all. I am so happy! I finally get to be a daddy!”

 

Katniss takes my hand and places it over her lower abdomen, where our child is now growing. “We are going to be a family.”

 

I lean over and kiss her, tears of happiness in my eyes. “I can’t wait.”

 

And I can’t. Everything crazy thing that happened to me two years ago was worth it. Running away, ending up in a hospital, losing my memories…everything played a part in helping me find my destiny here with Katniss and our soon to be little one. I wouldn’t change a thing. Everything is perfect.


End file.
